Domingo En La Noche~ I feel pretty good right now and am sensing more and more the real healing powers of writing for me in different ways for different reasons. Many times other people are so pre-occupied with their occupations that they are not really listening well anways. So I write.....
Sometimes I get really lonely for a live-in female companion in my life. However, I know I am not ready for a steady lady in my life on a live-in basis, especially one who would be high maintenance, whine for attention and without intellectual pursuits of her own. Besides, I know one woman by herself could never keep me completely happy and the eyes are never full. I love women far more than male-human-dogs. Plus, I need to focus more on my writing.
I have a lot on my mind, a lot in my heart and some stuff I need to get out of my soul. I am still 'in the process' of recovery from my former addictions to alcohol and other forms of dope. I really believe that even if I were to drink alcohol again that I would not be a bad as I once was, though, I must be careful about fooling myself and being senseless.
Right now, a woman in my life would interfere with my creative pursuits and it would not be fair to her to ignore her when I am writing, on the Internet and pursuing my studies. I would need to find a rare bird who could put up with me and my personal idiosyncracies. Plus, if I am taken for granted I can get grouchy and I do have a tendency to being jealous if a woman I care about pays attention to another man in a way I do not appreciate in a good way. So... I can't win for loving.
I have been deep in love with several women in my life and have had raw sex with many, then, the term 'many' is a relative term, especially in this context. The point is that it is the quality not the mere quality that ultimately matters. I tend to fall in love with a woman that I care about and in fact I love a few women right now in my life, though, none I am intimate with in a sexual intercourse sense.
Right now my short-range personal plans are to just take one on-campus class at Sac City College this summer and a couple of online classes. This will free me up for getting a regular day time job during the week in an area that I would be good at and be able to help others.
I have been living here with my good married friends Barbara and John Gregg for several months now and so far it has worked rather well. I do my own thing, do a little to help out and get a small check being, in theory, Barbara's Health Care Worker. The job mainly consists of doing the dishes, laundry once in a while and it is all pretty lightweight. From my paycheck I give $400 a month to them for the rent of a small room ~ my Sanctuary ~ in a two-bedroom apartment unit at a place called Land Park Woods.
Fortunately, Brother John is smart when it comes to computer stuff and I do appreciate the luxury of having wireless broadband Internet connection here at home. Plus, I have my own space and we generally get along great. I try to stay out of their business and they generally stay out of mne. Thus, it is a good arrangement!
Excerpt from: A great Latino Writer who was on Democracy Now on Friday, May 19th, 2006
"Voices of Time”: Legendary Uruguayan Writer Eduardo Galeano on Immigration, Latin America, Iraq, Writing – and Soccer:
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=06/05/19/1324216
EDUARDO GALEANO: I never decided. It's something -- I’m written by my books. I mean, they write me, so I never decide anything. Well, I was always looking for a language who could integrate everything that has been culturally divorced from, for instance, heart and mind. So I was looking for a feel-thinking language, sentipensante, “feel-thinking.” It's a word. I didn't invent the word. It’s a word I heard years ago in the Colombian coast. A fisherman told me, "Hay gigrere en las palabras sentipensantes," when I told him I was a writer. "Ah, you're a writer." "Yes." "Oh." And he asked me if I was using a sentipensante language, a feel-thinking language. And so, he was a master. I mean, I learned a lot from this sentence forever. I am a sentipensante.
Nada mas ahora... PSL
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