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Sacra Central Library Hours ~ 828 I Street ~ Sacramento, CA 95814
S=12-5 > M=Closed > T=10-8 > W=10-6 > Th=10-6 > F=12-6 > S=10-5
http://www.saclibrary.org/?pageId=2
Sunday, October 16, 2001
@3:50 PM ~ Here now at Sacra Central Library. I posted my earlier Journal for this month in my Blog here, plus on Twitter and Facebook. Sharing is caring! I think it makes more sense for me to post stuff here than to have scattered sites on the Internet. I have a tendency to get a wee bit OCD about stuff and overdo it.
In my Spiritual Evolution I am learning that much of life for me at this stage of life is about my Inner Being. Life in the outer world has a way of going on with or without me. I believe that the better I understand myself and am able to explain myself to myself, then the better I will be able to understand others in my life. You can call it an experiment with myself as the Subject. This is not a mere matter of arrogance. I know that many folks are just wrapped up in their own little world. I do not see one outer world and one inner world. I am in my being as a humane entity and see the outer world visibly with my eyes from my Inner Being.
Monday, October 17, 2011
@5:00 AM ~ Another Monday, Monday. I was able to get onto WIFI from home for a while, but later was not able to connect. This has, as many things do, positive and negative aspects. I was able to post Tweets for awhile, but got disconnected. So I took a bath. I love the Internet but know that it can be addictive for me if I let other matters slide. Right now I am not employed in a regular job so I have the time and opportunity to do what I want with my own time.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
@9:37 AM ~ Right now I am unemployed and not a wage-slave. I am planning to go to Salvation Army and see Major Mark about a bell-ringing position for the Christmas Holiday season. I will go about 11 AM and possibly have lunch with him. It am not hot about the position, rather enjoy doing what I want and having the time to work on my mental health issues in relation to my psychic-spiritual health.
My sobriety date off alcohol is June 24, 2004. I have been ‘clean’ off shooting up ‘crank’ for over 10 years. I still smoke tobacco ~mainly Bugler Gold cigarettes I roll myself (rolling can have some meditative use for me ~rationalization?). Plus, I still drink coffee, especially in the mornings. I take 50mg of Seroquel at night to help with my sleep according to the Doctor’s prescription so it is no abuse. I am sane and sober just for today, tomorrow we’ll see. Yes, I live life one day at a time.
@3:00 PM ~ Now at Sacra Central Library on the 4th Floor, my usual location here (unless I suspect a hit man is on assignment against me!). I keep my 9mm with silence handy. Kiddin'!!
At Sally's filled out application for a Kettle-Holder with Major Mark's help. Plus, I had a good lunch there. It has been awhile since I ate there. Saw some friends and very much enjoyed myself. I will find out if I get hired whether it will negatively impact my SSI Pending Final Determination or not.
After lunch Brother James G. and I walked to my place, we talked a bit then I caught the Light Rail and came up here. I have some money to last until my next SSI Check. I can no longer afford to spend my money on frivolous items or stuff that catches my eye. I am generally thrifty anyway. It is good I no longer waste money on alcohol and drugs!
I keep my eyes wide open for whatever good chance and opportunity that comes my way. We often create our own ways of moving forward. I need to structure my time more to get more done. I remind myself that I am a humane BEING, not a only a humane DOING. I insist upon this distinction because so many folks that I know are so stressed out about life that they do not take the time to appreciate the simple miracle of their beingness.
I told my friend James that I was at the stage of my life where I am now quietly making preparations for my eventual death. He thinks I am being too hard on myself. The idea is often misunderstood by others. I am approaching 60 Years of being alive here on Mother Earth. I know my flesh is not immortal.
We should remain realistic in connected reality. There are matters I need to attend to, amends I may have to make and unfinished business I need to take care of in my life, I do not want to be on my death bed remembering there was an important task that I failed to perform. I am still alive and well here now.
I sometimes wonder who happens to Click onto this Blog. I must remember that I am now better able to work on my own self-knowledge than I was before because I have a renewed intention about learning more and more about the humane brain. We are going somewhere with this and I am interested in finding out more about what being humane truly is today. It is about fighting for humane rights and standing up for humane rights whenever the situation calls for it. It is about having deep feelings of love, warmth and affection for others that gives us the feelings we require to motivate us to be better to each other, to be more kind to another, to simply care about the basic survival of those around us in our lives.
I imagine many beings are quietly dying on the inside without ever telling anyone. Many of us have already died a quiet death. Where are the unmarked graves that no one ever goes to visit? Be sure to treasure life and its sacredness.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
@2:00 PM ~ Received notice of Congratulations about getting Medi-Cal. It becomes Effective November 1st. Still awaiting my SSI Final Determination of being accepted. I am hopeful and know that I will carry on whatever happens. I am one determined stubborn man who will do all he can within his personal power to survive and thrive.
From today's Sacramento Bee ~
Nine Occupy Sacramento protesters arrested in latest demonstration
via JOSÉ LUIS VILLEGAS/jvillegas@sacbee.com
Emmanuel Curry stands in support of a speaker from Occupy Sacramento as other protesters also raise their hands at Tuesday night's City Council meeting. The council voted to continue to prevent overnight camping at Cesar Chavez Plaza.
Read more: http://www.sacbee.com/2011/10/19/3988909/nine-occupy-sacramento-protesters.html#ixzz1bGPSNEqI
We are scheduled to have a Safeground Meeting tomorrow at Cat's house. It should be an active interesting meeting. As time goes by I see the need for many of us to continue to work on our own self-knowledge in order to better prepare ourselves for future tests, struggles and challenges.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
@10:35 AM ~ In my usual spot at Sacra Central Library. We had a good Safeground Breakfast Meeting that went well. I am glad that we had folks from Occupy Sacramento there to share with us. This thing of ours is growing more and more, especially when people understand our basic common interests as humane beings.
We certainly need to use our active imagination in stimulating consciousness among the masses for global revolution.
@2:37 PM ~ My good friend Mikey came by here for a bit + my other good friend James G. It is good to see folks I know at the Library. Being at the Library is a safe wholesome location for me.
I feel sorry for bored folks who never focus and take the time to check out their local library. The one here is in mint condition ~next to it by the corner is where the old one use to be that is now used for various meetings, so it is still there. I use to go there when I was a youngster ~ many moons ago.
Friday, October 21, 2011
@3:00 PM exactly. Now at Sacra Central Library. I am alive and well, though a bit sleepy. I went to the DRA Meeting at Guest House this morning at 9 PM and it was, as usual, a good meeting. We discussed Step #5 of the 12-Steps.
Yesterday after I got back 'home' I retrieved a letter from Social Security Administration and it seems that I do NOT qualify for SSI. According to them my 'disability' is not severe enough for them to consider me disabled. Naturally, that kind of got me depressed, threw me for a loop. I was hoping to receive Disability from SSI based upon my mental health and physical health issues, but now it seems that I will have to go through the appeal process. I was hoping to avoid that mental torture. I was not able to see anyone about it ~Lisa or Jerrie~ at Guest House. I will try to see someone there Monday. On a positive note, if worse comes to worse I can stay with my Spirit Sister Geri ou in the North Area, though I would feel that I would be imposing there. I think if it comes out that I am disqualified right now for SSI that I can get onto County General Assistance based upon my being in an Appeal Process. It sucks!
Typing is therapy for me. I will maintain the brain and try not to slip into any kind of dark depression over it all. I was going to stay at 'home' today but thought it best to get out, go by #Occupy Sacramento and come up here to the Sacra Central Library.
I do have an Interview with Salvation Army this coming Tuesday as a Kettle Worker AKA Bell Ringer. Not exactly my forte but Major Mark helped to arrange it.
Now more than ever I feel a stronger Spirit of Resistance. Stuff is just getting worst for so many of us. One good news, an ol' friend Hippie Mike finally got his own place for him and his dog. He has been homeless for over SEVEN YEARS! Plus, New York, another Brother, got onto SSI so he will be doing good. So life is such that sometimes some are recipients of good news and others at the same time get bad news ~the balances and synchronizations of life.
@5:13 PM ~ As Uncle Ho wrote. "... So life you see is not a very smooth business and now the present bristles with difficulties."
Sabbath, October 22, 2011
@4:31 PM ~ At Sacra Central Library at my post! Slept pretty good last night. I know that my precarious housing situation bugs me in the back of my mind on at least a subconscious level, though I try to consciously not dwell on it. I will survive and hope to prevail come what may. I know whatever happens that I need to maintain the brain, take care of my physical health the best I can and stay involved in my sober recovery. I have food at home, plus another whole can of ham in the freezer and plenty of bread.
I am being more aware of what I write here. Keeping some stuff close to my chest as it were. I am a firm believer that life is often a matter of spiritual warfare, not merely physical existence. One must train the brain.
Wrote an article this morning:
On the #Occupy Movement and Homeless Refugees:
http://bit.ly/q1eY2O via @Peta_de_Aztlan
I will continue to write, to express myself and keep my faith in the forces of goodness. There is a Creator and I am a creature of the Creator. Nada mas ahora!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
@1:41 PM ~ Well I am still alive and learning. Wrote an article this morning and have already posted it.
Link here > On the Question of Leadership in a Leaderless Movement >
http://bit.ly/pfRz6K via
I find that the typing goes more smoother when I do not try to constantly got back and edit what I just typed. It could be a perfectionist trait, it could be an OCD trait but before it would drive me so mad that I ended up not posting or typing anything because it was never perfect or did not come exactly as I wanted. This has been a long struggle of mine in relation to so-called writing. I say so-called because I realize that all this time here I have been actually typing, not writing.
I have my CASA 12-Steps Meeting this evening at 7 PM at the Salvation Army. CASA remains my spiritual anchor and ministry among those seeking to escape the affliction of addiction. At least being nearby at Globe Mills right now it is a short walk up the street. We will see what we will see in the future.
Tomorrow afternoon I need to go see Lisa at Guesthouse about my SSI case, though I doubt if she can do anything to assure I get a check in November. I figure she will be able to help with my doing an appeal. God, I have heard of cases where folks wait for literally years for an approval upon an appeal. I have this issue of needing to survive we ithout having to be a dumpster diver. ;->
I will strive to be obedient to my ideal of the Lord's will, though as a natural scientist I pray I am not indulging in mere metaphysics. I feel there is a Higher Power in life that impacts upon our lives in ways beyond my mortal understanding. It is a kind of spiritual feeling within my spirit of a great love that graces us mere mortals. What say ye invisible reader?
Monday, October 24, 2011
@11:00 AM ~ Here at Globe Mills in 517. My days are running out here. I am keeping my spirit up and know that whatever happens to me in terms of housing I will maintain the brain, stay sober and hope for the best. Brother Toro has promised me he would help me more my stuff from here to Geri’s out off Marconi so that is one concern out of the way for now. I need to go see my Service Coordinator Lisa at Guest House this afternoon between 1 PM and 3 PM. I am not sure what she can do for me other than help facilitate my SSI Appeal.
Gallo called earlier from up in the hills so I hope to see him possibly tomorrow. He is a blessing in my life as usually tries to understand where I am at in life and empathizes with our collective struggles. At times it seem that the Spirit of Resistance against repression is what sustains me, gives me a focus and purpose in my life. I am not going to go down a quiet soul who stood still while the world around me was falling apart, especially in relation to the sorry global economy today.
Sacra Central Library is closed today so I will not get on the Internet there. There is a small coffee shop nearby, but Sacra Central Library is from where I most like to get on the Internet.
I have a strong cup of café and smokes here, plus, food to eat. All my basic survival needs are being met right now. I walk the streets and see homeless refugees sprinkled throughout the Downtown Section of Sacramento. I am not alone in terms of having to face the horrors of homelessness. I witness it every day and night around here in the streets. Such is life.
@9:47 PM ~ Met with Lisa with Jerri this afternoon. Nothing conclusive about my SSI case but have appointments in November which will do me no good now. Even went to Department of Human Assistance to get onto GA and found out that I am supposedly already on GA but I did not receive anything from them. Might check with Carol’s Place tomorrow about what is up with that. I told the truth about my receiving an SSI for SSI on October 1st so I do not quality for GA for this whole month anyways. Went downtown for a bit, went by Occupy Sacramento and looked around. I ended up just getting a Diet Pepsi and coming back here to Globe Mills into the Computer Room downstairs. Then, I checked out the news, Tweeted a lot and that was pretty much my day. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Maybe I will go to my Interview at Salvation Army Headquarters for a bell-ringer AKA Kettle Worker position for the Holidays. I am not too hot about that idea.
Called my Sister Geri and I am good to go over to her place to live if ~as it looks now barring a weird miracle ~ I need to move up out of here.
I am waging a spiritual battle just keeping my spirit up and not falling down into a personal Great Depression. I know many in history and in these tough times are suffering from a real Great Depression that impacts on the whole being of their existence. So I must keep my spirits up and not indulge in selfish self-pity. Self-control helps, thinking positive and when a negative comes up counter-balancing it with a positive. A lot of life does involve our general attitudes throughout the day. Nada mas ahora! ~Che Peta
Martes, 25 de Octubre de 2011
@10:47 AM ~ My Mobile Phone woke me up at 7:30 AM and I went to my short Interview as a Kettle Worker for the Holiday Season. Saw Sister Cheyenne on my way on the street nearby and on my way back here on the Light Rail. I think that is a kind of synchronicity.
I am back ‘home’ ~I use that word lightly these days~ with last of my café made and smoking a cigarette right now. I will write an article or try to write an article, head out to #Occupy Sacramento then Sacra Central Library.
@6:11 PM ~ Getting dark outside here at Sacra Central Library. About time for me to take my toys and head back to my temporary home. Hell, all my homes are always temporary ~that kind of gives me a non-attached feeling. Less to lose in a material world sense. More space for my own continued spiritual growth. Nada mas ahora.
@8:03 PM ~ Just had a long phone conversation with El Gallo for about 45 minutes. He has some great ideas and is really interested in building up a sustainable community with a friend out by Pioneer going towards Reno. Being me I must see such an idea up there as a kind of positive withdrawal for those who are part of such a distant community. It is not feasible for us down here in the valley, in the inner cities, in dire straits trying to gather search for food for our stomachs.
Miércoles, 26 de Octubre de 2011
@1:32 PM ~ Now at Globe Mills in my apartment for now. I will hate to leave this spot but I really have no choice unless I make myself a nuisance and try to be a squatter! Globe Mills and its Management have been good to me, thus, I must repay goodness with goodness. Life just did not work out as I had hoped when I became now disqualified for SSI and will not have the money to pay rent for this coming November. I will be 60 years old on November 15th and am getting on in my years. Life in general has been good to me; I am in good health in general and feel that I have made at least some small contribution to making it a better healthier world.
Jueves, 27 de Octubre de 2011
@10 AM ~ I had my last session with my therapist Nick at Genesis. I will have another one next Monday. It has been good for me. It is kind of a ‘checking in’ though not really tangible in terms of having me with my SSI case. Still it is good to have a neutral observer that we can discuss personal matters with. I will miss Nick and wish him well in Southern California.
I am going to take a bath, get dressed and hear on out to the Sacra Central Library. Catch ya later!
@12:15 ~ In my spot here at Sacra Central Library. I believe I can live a life for now being a scholar, doing what I need to survive in my existence and just coming here online posting stuff. I know that the more I practice my writing with conscientiousness the more it will improve. A lot of it is just saying what is on our minds, what is in our hearts and not being worried about what others may think about exercising our freedom of creative expression.
Viernes, 28 de Octubre de 2011
@9:08 AM ~ I am awakening on another day here at Globe Mills. Leaving this time will be a lot more easier than the last time in late May of this year. I have less stuff to move out, life with my stuff is a lot lighter and I am more resigned to accepting life as it comes. Plus, I have a deeper life-appreciation I did not have before. There is so much we take for granted in life, so much that we assume will be there when we wake up, so much that we assume will happen in a certain way and so much that can change up on us without our foreknowledge.
“The two-fold reality of the universe, which consists of things and space---thingness and no-thingness---is also your own. A sane, balanced and fruitful human life is a dance between the two dimensions that make up reality: form and space.”
~From Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, Finding Who You Truly Are, Pg. 219
Sábado, 29 de Octubre de 2011
@10 AM ~ I woke up late today on this Sabbath. I am having a cup of Orange tea, which is kind of a good change since regular coffee can be another addiction for me. I slept long and well. I guess I will get a load of laundry done, start getting ready to move out of here, though I think rent is not due until around the 5th of each month. I will await a System error and see if I get my check on the 1st of November or not, though I will not hold my breath. I love Sabbaths as the world seems to kind of take a breather, though I know life goes on within us and certainly goes on without us.
Other than having a cell phone with me I am kind of incommunicado right now up here. No Internet Connection, no TV and no radio. Looking out my 5th Floor window I see life is still out there. It is quiet here and that is one of the main factors I will miss about being here now. I am in a senior housing situation here at Globe Mills. I imagine most of the folks here are going to expire from life here, that is, they will be here until they die, they have reached the end of their road. I know I will not be one of them. I feel that though I am older as I approach 60-years that I still have a lot of fight left in me and will continue to be ‘part of the Resistance’ to fascist repression.
I have to move out of here and plan to go live with my Sister Geri AKA Anabelle and her son Ricky. Actually Ricky is like a step-son to me as I have known him since he was a toddler. I kind of helped to raise him and her other grown children: Klad Jr., Adam and the oldest one, her daughter Christina. Only Ricky stays with her now. He is kind of autistic. He acts a lot younger than his years and is immature in many ways. It will be a challenge living there and not having my own place all to myself. At least I will not be physically isolated. Sister Geri is actually my spirit sister, a former lover in what seems like lifetimes ago and now a devoted Christian, though she can be a little fanatic she is a devoted prayer warrior. She is my oldest friend in this life, other than me.
@10:30 AM ~ On this day of October 29, 1929 was the Wall Street Stock Market Crash of
‘Black Tuesday’ that ushered in the last recognized Great Depression. To me, though I am not an economist, we are living in the Great Depression of the New Millennium, though the System hides it by labeling in a Great Recession that it declared awhile back was over. The System is addicted to corporate profits and seems to have a life of its own as it continues to exploit labor raw, spreads out its octopus tentacles as U.S. imperialism worldwide and generally causes mass misery throughout the lands of Mother Earth.
VIA Google: Black Tuesday was the most devastating stock market crash in the history of the U.S. The crash signaled the beginning of the 12-year Great Depression that affected all Western industrialized countries and did not end until the onset of American mobilization for World War II at the end of 1941. Ahh, the ironies of history can come back to haunt us today.
The Great Depression had devastating effects in virtually every country, rich and poor. Personal income, tax revenue, prices and profits dropped, while international trade plunged by more than 50%. Unemployment in the U.S. rose to 25%, and in some countries rose as high as 33%. Cities all around the world were hit hard, especially those dependent on heavy industry. Construction was virtually halted in many countries. Farming and rural areas suffered as crop prices fell by approximately 60%. Facing plummeting demand with few alternate sources of jobs, areas dependent on primary sector industries such as cash cropping, mining and logging suffered the most.
Some economies started to recover by the mid-1930s; in many countries the negative effects of the Great Depression lasted until the start of World War II.
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@11:04 ~ Feelings are fleeting, coming and going like vibrations of the soul. Emotions are deep and serious impacting on inner thoughts. We are in a type of war called life among the living upon Mother Earth. We have to worry about our next meal, meeting our basic needs and surviving while keeping our sanity intact with integrity. The System attacks our self-esteem, our sense of worth in the world, when its advertisements shower us with consumer products it wants us to buy but because of our poverty we cannot.
@1:06 ~ Toro called and I will be moving stuff out Monday. Pam called and had a good conversation. Got some text/picture messages. Mobile cell phones are really becoming a dominant way that people communicate these days. Sometimes there is less emotional involvement when people text message as distinct from actually calling someone up and sharing voices in a conversation. Go figure!
Think I will just stay here ‘at home’ for now. Enjoy the lonely solitude, contemplate on life, rest up some and read a bit. We should be grateful for the simple pleasures that life affords us from time to time. We should not always be scurrying about as if we will miss something going on when we have not even come to know ourselves on a deep spiritual level of living.
I have wasted so much time feeling guilty about matters I had no control over when I was, for all practical purposes, unconscious and immature. I was living in shame with daily drunkenness for so long. I was not being attentive to my own Inner Spiritual Evolution as a humane being.
We remain imperfect beings, yet our innate imperfection allows us room to improve our Inner Character, to sharpen our life skills and develop our natural talents. Do not get down in the despair of depression! Life has its ups and downs, its ins and outs and is in the process of being lived, it is never still and static. Life is living energy being life. The suns rises and sets every day, no matter how dark the night. Appreciate simply being alive among the living and breathing life with a full breath in with all its glory and gory.
@9:06 PM ~ Went down to the Computer Room to check it out and my favorite computer down there with Foxpro browser was vacant. I was only going to be on it for awhile then predictably ended up on it for a couple of hours. Got my clothes done and while I was folding them, actually I roll a lot of them up, a lady gave me a pair of newish Rustler Jeans! It was a real blessing because right before that I was thinking that I had forgotten to wash my old jeans. I consider it a kind of a synchronicity event involving time and circumstance.
Plus, got I a call from Sister Sandra on Twitter after I gave her my mobile number in a private message. So it is good that I took the liberty of giving it to her.
A lot of stuff is going on in what I term the #Occupy Matrix. I hope the idea catches on because it is not really an actual movement with a leadership structure, a set common agenda and official members. The idea of a matrix is that it is a huge collection of various #Occupy Zones who mainly communicate to each other via social networks, such as, Twitter, Facebook and their own specific website for their #Occupy Zone. Local police repression actually inspires and invigorates the mass support of #Occupy Wall Street protestors. Repression breeds resistance!
@10:50 PM ~ I made a good little late dinner with fried beef meat and a can of beans with good wheat bread. I appreciated it, though it may not appear on the front cover of Gourmet Magazine. Today was today. I survived it without any bad mood swing or accidental mishap. Now that I am getting older I have learned to move with mo consciousness, not the sudden leaps and angles I use to perform in a kind of manic-anxiety-stressed out state of being. I am gradually learning how to age with grace and a measure of decorum (on a good day, lest I be accused of talking shit here). So today was today and tomorrow will be a brand new day. We should try to make the best of our days here now. Buenas Noches! Venceremos! Che Peta ~
Domingo, 30 de Octubre de 2011
@9:42 ~ Slept well, bath water is running and it is another day on Mother Earth. The sky outside is clear and the temperature should be in the mid-70s. I love this weather this time of year in Sacra.
~ From Paulo Freire ~Pedagogy of the Oppressed
@1:37 PM ~ Called Geri and let her know that Toro will be giving me a ride to her place to drop off stuff as I begin the process of moving over there this coming Monday. I am now at Sacra Central Library in my favorite spot here. I will hop onto Twitter and we what Higher Revolutionary Consciousness I can stir up in the global collective consciousness.
We have our CASA 12-Steps Meeting this evening at Sally’s. It helps to keep me going, combat negative isolation and I feel of service there.
Lunes, 31 de Octubre de 2011
Well it is Halloween Night. I am still here at Globe Mills. I did some good Tweeting earlier in the Computer Room downstairs. It seems to go better when I just share tips, thoughts and some stuff that is swirling around in my mind’s consciousness.
For sure Brother Toro is going to help me move the hell up out of here tomorrow. I will call him about 9 AM. I have been calling Geri and she already has a copy of the key at her place for me. I am blessed.
I told Sondra Bradley, our Property Manager here, about my predicament of being denied SSI. She was bummed out but not as much as I am. Sometimes they have a problem keeping good people here for various reasons. I love it here. Such is life.
As I say throughout my journal here ~ Life goes on within you and surely life goes on without you. Tomorrow is a brand new day and a brand new month of November. So this will be my last entry for October here. Venceremos Unidos! Che Peta
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Bloglink~ http://peta-de-aztlan.blogspot.com/
Twitter Link~ http://twitter.com/Peta_de_Aztlan
Humane Liberation Party Portal
~ http://help-matrix.ning.com/
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