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Thursday, December 01, 2011
@10:15 AM ~I am at the Arcade Public Library right now. Plan to be here until it closes at 6 PM. It is another day here upon Mother Earth. So far I have not received my EBT Allocation for December. Right now I am trying not to get manic over it. I become increasingly hateful towards the whole corrupt sick system of the present government. I need to not let my emotions overpower my reason.
General Information and Referral for DHA (Dept. of Human Assistance):
http://www.dhaweb.saccounty.net/
Cal-Fresh Benefits ~
Sacramento (916) 874-2256 ~Galt (209) 745-3484 ~ N. Sacramento (916) 648-0894
(916) 874-3100 or (209) 744-0499 ~Email: sacdha@saccounty.net
Job Central 24-Hour Job Line ~ (916) 875-3333
Ombudsperson~ (916) 875-3555 ~Email: DHA-Ombudsperson@saccounty.net
Webmaster ~Email: sacdha@saccounty.net
@1:51 PM ~Still here in this Library. Did some online research about different subjects. Am really trying not to allow myself to slip down into any major depression. Reality itself can be depressing enough as it is.
@4:18 PM ~Good news and anxiety relief. Called GA Number and my 'allowance' is scheduled to be released on December 3rd. Life goes on. Will continue to post on matters that are more of a personal nature here, plus on Twitter and Facebook.
Friday, December 02, 2011
@3:00 PM ~ Here now at Sacra Central Public Library. Stay alert, the world needs more lerts.
I created a new Yahoo Group @ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/help-matrix/
The beauty of Yahoo is that I can easily post an article to a Group I monitor and also to a Google Blog at the same time. We must learn how to better connect at various interconnection points when we are online and offline via Mobile Phones. I remember how Mobile Phones or Cell Phones were utilized for text-messaging for past Immigrant Rights rallies, esp. in LA. Naturally our on-going dialogue is key and an essential element for thrusts towards mass liberation. No one being has all the answers.
Sabbath, December 3, 2001
@10:47 AM ~Here now at the Arcade Public Library in my favorite spot in front of the American flag. I will consider myself an American when the America of the USA embraces all of the Americas, including Mexico, Central America and South America.
Last night I helped to decorate the Christmas tree for youngster Rick. He is really excited and even obsessed with the whole Christmas Holidays, esp. because he awaits Christmas presents. I remind him that Jesus Christ is the reason for the season.
I am feeling pretty good. I am just happy when there are no major problems or a major crisis in my life. It has often been chaotic and worrisome in the past. I avoid the trifles of trouble makers, seek my own counsel and help others as I can without being a co-dependent.
Monday, Deciembre 05, 2011
@3:00 PM ~ Got online at Temple Cafe in Downtown Sacramento. Got large Coffee for $2.50 ~ http://www.templecoffee.com/ ~
I still wrestle with accepting the fact that I have at least a mild case of bi-polar. I wonder how many just have not been diagnosed?
I was able to extract $100 bucks from my EBT Card at BofA. Paid my Mobile Phone bill and have about $100 until next month. I closed my BofA Checking and Savings Account last month. So I am winging it for now. I am unemployed on GA right now. i
I am wrestling with my bi-polar today ~or at least the tension between being manic and being depressed. Holidays can be hard for me. Nostalgic memories.
Article: U.S. has highest bipolar rate in 11-nation study
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/07/US.highest.bipolar.rates/index.html
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
@10:30 AM ~ I am here in my favorite far corner spot at the Arcade Library. Joy! It is open to 8 PM. Yesterday I felt a little manic at times, then switched over to being a bit depressed. Had to dwell in my being without overthinking. Sometimes I just need to engage in physical exercise more.
One of my favorite sayings is, "Sharing is caring!" Imagine if we all shared the earth's natural resources with each as one family of humankind.
Creative inspiration comes all of a sudden from a divine cosmic space where potential dwells between feeling & thinking!
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
@5:33 PM ~
Having bi-polar tendencies, some days are better than other days. Mood swings are sometimes manic, sometimes depressed. Probably best to be the hyphen in bi-polar!
BI-POLAR DISORDER LINKS:
Bi-Polar Disorder > http://bit.ly/b8sP6 ~
Life, Love and Bipolar > http://www.lifeloveandbipolar.com/ ~
Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depression)~Psych Central > http://bit.ly/cdw73g
DHD, Control Freak, Or Both? By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed. > http://bit.ly/w3P7Md @ChickADD44
I went to my Guesthouse Appointment with Sister Jerri today and it went well. I found out that I still have Medical Benefits, though I am not in the process of appealing my First Denial from SSI. I have two more appointments tomorrow that could be critical for me in relation to my eventually qualifying for SSI.
I opened up to Jerri today. I told her that when I get manic I can have a homicidal tendency at the extreme and when I get in a depressed mood I can have a suicidal tendency or ideation with no actual plan in place.
Earlier today I saw a couple of Brothers from Carol's Place. Apparently they are now permanent residents there, at least until their SSI is Finalized. I may check it out for myself. I appreciate staying where I am right now, but it has its downers sleeping on the couch at night in the living room and a few other bummers. I do not want to be a burden on anyone. I am use to living independently without depending on anyone else to any real degree.
For me, typing is great therapy. I am actually a typer, not really a writer for I actually seldom write with pen and paper. I approach connected reality on three (3) levels: online, offline and inline in meditation. It is a balance that I try to keep for my spiritual health. Sometimes we can be so strung out online that we neglect our loved ones or neglect other daily living tasks. The Internet can easily become addictive, though we need to have a working definition of addiction and not simply over-generalize. We need to spend time offline away from our devices and cut any umbilical cord to our cell phones or mobile phones on a daily basis. Sometimes our communication devices can be instruments that block or hinder direct face-to-face communications with our loved ones. I guess there are benefits to my being single and unattached to any female now. At least I do not have a spouse to give me guilt trips!
Friday, December 09, 2011
@5:05 PM ~I am now in my favorite far corner spot situated at a table myself in front of the U.S. flag at the Arcade Public Library.
Yesterday was an interesting day. I saw a couple of SSI staff members as part of my SSI Appeal Process and have another appointment with Euwing Diagnostics soon. In a way it looks more favorable in that I may be approved for my SSI Disability based primarily upon my bi-polar disorder and other factors. This could all take a month or more. Time will tell. I am just trying to stay aboveground and make it through each day. It's complicated. Sometimes I feel manic and sometimes I feel depressed. When I am manic to the extreme I feel that certain conditions could make me feel homicidal towards a perceived threat from a person. When I am in an extreme depressed state I can get a suicidal ideation. At least when I am depressed I really suffer from low self-esteem and life for me seems to be a real downer. I do not actually act upon these moods, but the potentiality is present, especially a homicidal tendency when I perceive a real or imagine threat to my person. I will always uphold my right to self-defense by any means mandatory. Tomorrow should be another interesting day. See Below!
Excerpts below ~Peta
The December 2011 Total Lunar Eclipse Full Moon of Gemini-Sagittarius Pt. 2 - Reorienting, Escaping, and Learning What's Valuable~ http://bit.ly/vt49HD
by Robert Wilkinson
This Full Moon Total Eclipse at 19 Sagittarius-Gemini gives us special circumstances and intuitive flashes into a bigger life. This Lunar Eclipse is the launch pad for 3 1/2 months of revelation, reorientation, and techniques of externalizing "seed knowledge."...
A brief overview: the period ruled by this Full Moon Total Lunar Eclipse will illuminate our vision of a greater truth, broader future, or philosophical-spiritual possibilities and show us the way to techniques of getting to the heart of any matter. We will find a higher or broader knowledge worth sharing, found through liberating ourselves from old "polluted conditions."...
Because the New Moon preceding the Full Moon always represents the seed forms that are brought to surface at and after the Full Moon, please check out The Solar Eclipse at 3 Sagittarius November 24-25, 2011 Pt. 1 - Who Does It Affect and for How Long? There's more at The Solar Eclipse at 3 Sagittarius November 24-25, 2011 Pt. 2 - How Will It Manifest? and The Solar Eclipse at 3 Sagittarius November 24-25, 2011 Pt. 3 - Signs, Sabian Symbols, and What It All Means.
As we are still under the influence of both the July 2010 Solar Eclipse in Cancer, the January 2011 Solar Eclipse in Capricorn, the very powerful June 1 Grand Irrationality Solar Eclipse in Gemini, the weaker one in Cancer, and the one linked above, you may want to review the numerous articles in the archives concerning those long term influences....
Full Moons heighten feelings, due to the opposition of the Moon and the Sun. This particular Lunation has no other oppositions, decreasing the polarization and realization potential.
In fact, other than the again-forming long term Uranus square Pluto, this Eclipse has no significantly difficult aspects in play between any of the planets. That decreases the friction, and with the wide but powerful Grand Air Trine featuring the Moon, Saturn, and Neptune, should prove pretty smooth in terms of communication, mental movement, and discoveries that harmonize with the emergent archetype we've been living since Summer 2010.
As that Eclipse will be in force for several years, you can expect the effects to continue for quite a while. The whole world is at a critical turning point where we must find compassionate ways to link with others to assist the whole to survive through a rough patch. Collectively humanity is "emerging from its chrysalis" and preparing to give wings to the Aquarian Age, inch by inch, over the next few decades.
From here we move forward, individually and collectively, within the broader idea-field emerging in the void of what's been shut down the past 6 months. These next few months ground the wisdom of the past in simple, practical, stable forms..."
He goes on to say that this degree is about "contacting the all-human planetary Mind underlying any cultural and personal mentality," where we find forms of Source material that are externalized "archetypal knowledge and wisdom." These are "seed ideas" that can help us grow, producing refined cultural values and expression.
Here's what I've offered so far about this Eclipse:
Astrology in December 2011 and January 2012 - A Sagittarius-Gemini Total Lunar Eclipse Is On The Way!
The December 2011 Total Lunar Eclipse Full Moon of Gemini-Sagittarius Pt. 1 - Seed Ideas Showing Us the Need to Reorient And Move
© Copyright 2011 Robert Wilkinson
@5:18 PM ~At 'Camp' the situation is getting a little more complicated. I am in a situation where I cannot really relax as I wish I could at times. I miss my little catnap of earlier times. Thus, I am often a bit sleep deprived. Naturally this kind of hinders my powers of concentration. I do not really like to be around people in a home or personal setting all the time. I appreciate the peace of simply solitude, away from the maddening crowd.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
@1:37 PM ~ At Arcade Library. We endure each day, remain appreciative but long to have my own home where I can rest, type and research without dumb distractions. I do not want to merely complain. I know we live our choices out in our lives, though there can be other factors beyond our immediate control.
Christmas time is a stressful emotional time for me and I suppose many others. It is like a country-wide mania that sweeps the land. During Christmas there is the stress of simply not having the money to spent on gifts for loved ones. Money is tight. Let us give of our hearts, of our spirits and of our personal presence to others we cherish in our lives. Express your love.
Let us keep in mind and in our hearts that the birth of Jesus Christ is the reason for the season, whether one is a believer or not. I believe in the love Jesus Christ of Nazareth, but am not simply labeled and defined as a Christian. I avoid fanaticism.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
@1:34 PM ~ I had an appt. with Ewing Diagnostics at noon, but ended up going to the wrong old address for them. I had to re-schedule for next Tuesday at their new location on 900 Fulton Avenue. So I am blessed to be here now at the Arcade Library.
I just had a conversation with a Sister Krystal who has an interesting case. There are so many people who has interesting cases involving custody rights and so much other related issues. We shared phone numbers. I have seen her before and hope we can become friends in times of need. So many folks are walking around with unresolved issues.
I had a good night's sleep. Sleep is a such a sacred need. At the 'hideout' we now only have the Papa Bear, Mama Bear and the Big Baby Bear. I have some cash and food allowance on my EBT Card. I have very little personal possessions with me these days. I have lost or discarded so much of my former possessions. I had some old pictures but I do not even know where they are. I have some boxes of stuff up with my Brother Gallo who lives near Fiddletown in Amador County. In a real way I feel very much in a kind of exile.
I woke up today seeing clearly the need for me to work on my Inner Being. First I take the time to feel being in my being without dumb distractions.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
@12:06 PM ~Now at Central Library. I thought I had an appt. with Guesthouse, called first and found out that I did not. So I have the opportunity to do some typing here today.
I am learning better how to go with the flow while being conscious of my general direction. I am convinced that I am different from most people. I see so much irrelevance in what others are so hung up on or obsessed with in the world. I try to avoid any forms of obsession or fanaticism. I am sometimes obsessed with the concept of revolution, but have learned to rein in my proclivity in that direction.
I will be so glad when all this Xmas mania is over and life can go back to a semblance of normalcy. I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior based upon a pray I had in reverence to Him years ago as I prayed for his help and guidance on my knees by the Sacramento River on lonely dark night. Much has gone down the river since those times.
@7:00 PM ~ Here at Arcade Library in a good spot. I had no appt. as I thought I did have today with Staff Jerri Grosser. Scheduled future appts. with my Service Coordinator Eric and with the Guest House Doctor or representative of for me to get my Prescription Filled legitimately.
I feel kind of manic today. Seems the SSI route will take at least a month or more to get settled one way or the other. Will keep my feelers ready for a meaningful job in the counseling field. I have the actual experience, hard core experience, from my own life experiences, especially from my years working at the Salvation Army.
Some days it is all I can do to just keep the faith ~in myself, in the power of love and in the Creator.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Well we are half way through this month. I am looking forward to the new year and hopefully new loves. Sometimes the loving heart is a lonely hunter.
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Bloglink~ http://peta-de-aztlan.blogspot.com/
Twitter Link~ http://twitter.com/Peta_de_Aztlan
Humane Liberation Party Portal
~ http://help-matrix.ning.com/
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