Thursday, March 01, 2012
@6:50 PM ~ Now at West Sac Library.
Well today is March 1st ~ I pray we all be what we need to be and do what we have to do. Continue the dialogue. Don't forget your loved ones. Feed your kids and take care of your pet if you have one.
I have my Facebook Profile set to receive my Twitter Tweets from my Mobile Phone but it does not post them in a consistent way. Facebook is cool because it is a huge Social Networking website. Folks that I know personally and have met in person are generally on Facebook. Plus, some blood family folks.
I believe that the benefits of Social Networks, such as, Facebook and Twitter, are great for humanity in general. People are opening up, talking and sharing with one another in ways that were not done in earlier times in human history.
Life is a balance. For me, as a typer, I find the Internet an essential part of my life now, especially to see what others are thinking about, what others are doing and what others have in terms of a life vision.
These days I am working on my Inner Liberation as I continue to promote Outer Liberation in the real world. The situation going on in Syria is terrible, horrific and all of us should be concerned about the death of innocent people by the fascist Syrian Military.
I cannot fully understand how folks can live out their lives just pretending that we are in the best of all possible worlds.
For sure, those who are apathetic had better wake the hell up. Those junkies who are nodding had better stop their nodding. Those drunks whose ideal of a victory is another bottle of booze had better elevate their ambitions. We must criticize the criminal elements who have revolutionary potential but many of them would rather prey like predators on the poor, prey on those who ain't got shit already.
So No. I am not in Disneyland and I have never been to Kansas. At least I am on SSI now. Now I will be able to concentrate more on helping keep myself in shape in different ways and HELP stimulate the People's Liberation Movement in general.
We must become liberated as humane beings, not simply as human animals. Be humane! Give a shit! Nada Mas Ahora!
Venceremos! Peter S Lopez AKA @Peta_de_Aztlan
~*~
Friday, March 02, 2012
@11:52 AM ~Now at West Sacra Library. This is my new hangout. I am getting more attached to this place and I suppose Libraries in general.
I rarely go to regular A.A. or N.A. Meetings anymore, I find them so bland and redundant. In a way, the whole traditional A.A. scene is like a cult with its sayings, its rituals and its cliques. Many times if a stranger goes to a meeting the Chairperson will not call on him, but will call on the regular members. It is important to hear from new members, outsiders and make them feel as if their input is important to the whole meeting. I will keep working with my 'home group' called CASA 12-Steps. We have Open Meetings every Sunday at 7 PM at the Salvation Army Emergency Shelter at 1200 North B Streets in Downtown Sacramento.
It is a big difference not having my Food Stamp Allowance with my EBT Card. Now that I am on SSI that has stopped for now. I am blessed to have what I have. I am so glad I do not throw away money on booze, broads and dope these days.
In general, I will be focusing on my typing up articles, cultivating my Tweeter Following and networking with others online. I wish we all were literate, had a degree of computer literacy and regular Internet Access in order to help spread awareness and raise consciousness. I wish and hope a lot.
~
Sunday, March 4, 2012
On Facebook I do not care to have a zillion friends ~It is good to have a small cadre, even a dirty dozen and nurture those contacts into real genuine friendships.
It is a Sunday afternoon here in Sacramento. I am in my usual haunt for now at the local West Sacramento Arthur Turner Library. This Sunday evening at 7 PM we have a CASA 12-Steps Meeting at the Sacramento Salvation Army Emergency Shelter at 1200 North B Street. Come One, Come All
Tomorrow is the 5th. If I want to keep my Mobile Phone Activated I got to go Downtown and Pay Metro $50+ to it keep it going. I suppose I will, though in a way it is a waste. So many calls turn out to be so irrelevant, but it comes in handy.
I took a short nap earlier. So I am rested up pretty well. I am hoping that Mike AKA Gallo will show up here soon. He is giving me a ride to the CASA Meeting ~from here in West Sacramento to there.
It's another day in paradise! Venceremos!
Peter S. Lopez AKA @Peta_de_Aztlan on Twitter
On Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/Peta51
Monday, March 05, 2012
@4:05 PM ~ I need to maintain the brain, stay cool and not let the insanity of life bum me out. It helps when I try to keep an attitude of gratitude, remind myself when I was once woke up by a ditch strung out in the ghetto of Del Paso Heights years ago. Life is not going to go the way we always want it to go. Guess that is why we have the saying: Life on life's terms.
I got a plastic VISA Card last week from CEPS (my Payee Service) and thought I would have cash in it. I called the number on the card today and I have a total in it of flat zero! So I called Heather at CEPS three times and still have no response. The whole payee thing is new for me personally.
Anyways, I had to pay $51 cash out-of-wallet to keep my little cell phone activated. It is already out-dated (I want an Android when I grow up!).
Eventually I want to cut my present Payee CEPS loose because it is just not working for me. When I had my own income from my previous job I had the wherewithal to pay my own Rent, Utilities and all that ordinary normal stuff. I have been diagnosed as having BPD AKA Bi-Polar Disorder. I want to bypass having to go through anyone or get anyone's permission to get my SSI Money. I know that will take time. I need to see a nutcracker Doctor and get his or her to sign me off as capable of taking care of my own finances without having a payee. I am already getting irritated with the whole Payee Setup.
I will endure through all this manic madness. Thank God I am sober and have a wry sense of humor.
Why do I share such personal matters online here on Facebook? Because the Spiritual Liberation Program I work requires me to be Honest, Open and Willing, that is HOW it works. Plus, I find that so many folks are frozen with fear when it comes to sharing what is really going on in their lives, what thoughts really pass through their minds. I hope to encourage other folks to share and realize that all of us go through 'stuff' in our lives. We are not alone.
I think most folks are tied up in so many dysfunctional complexes that I am surprised they are able to carry on a relatively coherent conversation and run their own bath water. Wonder why so many prefer a shower instead of a bath when they have a choice to take a shower or a bath?!
Of course, we have to use our common sense when we are typing stuff online. I know, I know, I am a little psychic. A lot of folks do not even have common sense! I mean common sense in the sense of our ordinary five sense-organs MOST OF US have: hear, smell, taste, touch and the magical sense of visual sight.
Psychologically I feel better already just typing out this stuff above. I actually feel a little sorry for folks who are so fouled up that they do not have the nerve to simply share their thoughts.
Spring is coming later this month. I could go for a Spring Fling. Love can be a kind of madness. So can intimate sex be too for that matter. I don't f--k. I LOVE!
@6:52 PM ~My Sister Linda M. came by here at the Library. She popped up for awhile. It was good to see her. So I showed her some stuff that I am up to on the Net. She's gone now. I told her how part of my Spiritual Liberation Program is to have a structure for my time. Thus, I am usually at the Library doing what I consider to be worth, though I get no direct monetary benefit. It does help me maintain the brain.
I need to take advantage of my SSI Benefits. Linda will help me figure stuff out. We will see what we will see.I see her as such an ol' friend from earlier days that I do not really look at her in a romantic-intimate way. This is probably for the best for the both of us. I have about another hour left before the Library here closes. Nada mas ahora!
It's another day in paradise! Venceremos!
Peter S. Lopez AKA @Peta_de_Aztlan on Twitter
On Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/Peta51
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
@10:11 PM ~ Back in my Motel Room here at the Flamingo. My Shasta Hotel application has been approved so I plan to see Kendra at the Shasta tomorrow morning at 10 PM to see a couple of rooms. Then, if all goes well I need to contact CEPS about the rent money and deposit.
Response logged on Facebook to Brother Pookey ~
Remember,I have been concerned with humane rights issues for over 40 Years, in varying degrees from high school on.
At times I would get so bummed out about the world situation that I would just say F--k it! Then get drunk and stoned out of my mind.
I have come through some dark days! I will never go back into the self-made hell I was in in the past.
I am actually a Counter-Terrorist. I am strongly against Terror emitted from Terrorists, including the those fiendish fools Following orders from the Evil Amerikan Empire.
Sounds kind of like a Star Wars Movie, but my being acutely aware of the Big Picture in the world has be with great concern about the present Global Situation.
Each of us needs to find a purpose in life ~live a life of purpose! Being a humane rights advocate gets me out of any 'woe is me' self-pity and focused on helping change connected reality for the better.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
@10:33 AM ~ Need to go to CEPS to pick up Rent and Deposit Checks and do paperwork for getting in as a resident at the Shasta Hotel.
@3:00 PM ~Praise the Lord! I got my Key to my own Room at the Shasta Hotel. My dear friend Barbara will by here tomorrow around 10 AM to help me move my stuff from here at the Flamingo in West Sacramento to the Shasta in Downtown Sacramento.
@3:24 PM ~ I have been without my own home since I moved out of Global Mills on May 27, 2011. So it has been a bit over 9 months since I have had my own space to call home. It is just a bare little room but I do not require a lot of space.
Friday, March 09, 2012
@10:22 PM ~ I am in what I will call my Shasta Sanctuary. It has been a long time for me since I had my own private space to call a home. So far, so good. The Manager Kendra is cool, I have done my paperwork and I have a fresh start here.
My dear Friend Barbara gave me a ride over here from the Flamingo Motel on West Capitol Avenue. I just had my backpack, blue duffle bag and she brought me a couple of clean plastic crates I can have in which I put other stuff in. It was a light load.
A lot of stuff can happen to me on any given day, especially conversational exchanges with other people. Suffice it to say that I am still in a heavily toxic area, esp. right outside in the streets. I plan to keep to myself, make new friends with caution and try my best to avoid any idiotic drama trauma. Time for my meds now, my usual 50mg of Seroquel.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
@9:20 PM ~ I am now at home, it feels good to be able to type that word again, for real. Now hearing Diana Krall’s ‘Let’s Face the Music and Dance’. Today has been a good day. It is quiet here. No one bugging me, no drama trauma and I have a fleeting feeling of divineness.
Last night I slept pretty well considering I had no regular pillow and blanket. I woke up early, went to my favorite store and bought two cups of coffee. Around 8 AM I called Toro, we talked for awhile and then he came by to pick me up. We went over Geri’s and I picked up my ‘blankee’ and pillow. Plus, my Desktop computer and speaker system; my special coffee cup I got from Major Mary that has stood with me all this time; and some utensils, including my gold looking spoon and fork. So I should sleep well tonight.
As I was packing stuff I told Geri that I love her, which comes natural to me. Remarkably she naturally and nonchalantly told me, “I love you.” Those three words were music to my ancient ears because I do not recall her ever saying those words to me before, not even in a climaxing moment of ecstasy when we were intimate a thousand years ago. After all, she is my oldest female friend in this lifetime. I believe there is some kind of karmic connection between her and I, probably from a previous lifetime. If there is an afterlife to all this lifetime here as I suspect then I will learn more about this lifetime that I missed along way. Indeed, more will be revealed!
It is sad that so many people have been so bruised and brutalized in life that they are afraid to express their true heartfelt feelings. God, there is much healing in the world that needs to take place; for sure within our own oh so mortal hearts.
I am glad I do not believe I have to worry about any burnt out dope fiend knocking on my door looking for a former dope dealer who may have been here and it is simply good to have no one bugging me. There is 24-hour Desk Monitor up front.
When we went by his place, Joe AKA Toro, lent me a good book by Jesse Ventura entitled ’63 DOCUMENTS THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO READ’. I have started reading it and it confirms a lot of so-called conspiracy theories that are actually truth and unbeknown to many. There is so much the general public has no inkling about or just pretends has not happened in the dark history of the United States.
I confess I still have not taken a shower here. My room is on the first floor; by passing the stairs up front going up to the second floor, around the corner of a curving hallway and the first resident room on the right. I realized today that I do not even have a sink in my room. Another room was shown to me floors up, but I decided to get this one. I do not have to go through the little inconvenience of going up and down the elevator every time I want to get out into the streets. On the other side of the hall, right across from my Room Door, there is a little kitchen area with a stove, oven and a microwave. Plus, right up the hall is two separate shower rooms and then the restroom. So I plan to take a shower tomorrow. I do not want anyone to consider me a ‘dirty Mexican’ ~ even though I am a crazy Chicano de Aztlan.
I am typing this in a Word Document, and then plan to transpose it onto my @Peta_de_Aztlan Blog tomorrow at Central Library. That is another convenience. The Central Library is only a short distance from here of about a block and a half west of here. Plus, there is the Arthur Turner Library that I can go to also by taking a bus out to West Sac that is right off West Capitol Avenue. Central is closed on Mondays, but the West Sac Library is open. I wish I would of known that before.
I notice I type more flowingly in my Online Journal when I do it in a Word Document. The Central Library has a filter that now only lets us access a Blog for an hour. So I have to consider my blogging time when I am online in a blog. However, the West Sacra AKA Yolo County Library does not have such a hindrance. I wonder if there is a Freedom of Speech issue here. I myself have not heard anyone else bring this issue up. I Emailed the Sacramento Public Library awhile back when I was at the Arcade Library, but did not get a response or reply as far as I noticed. I know it is a minor matter. Forms of fascism or authoritarianism can be real creepy. Before we know it we can suffer rendition! God forbid!
So here I am, right in the heart of Downtown Sacramento, California. Now hearing ‘All Is Fair In Love’ by Stevie Wonder, a real ‘Oldie But Goodie’. It reminds me of always-and-forever loves that did not last forever, but oh we once believed it would. Such is life when lovers come and go. Some do return for awhile. Now they are all out of my life and I type these words with priceless memories. ‘Don’t You About ‘Bout A Thing’ is on now. I am right by K Street and the Capitol Park where the State Capitol is about a block and half from here.
@10:28 ~ Now hearing ‘I Am Not Hiding’ by Kenny Loggins. Oh yeah, I have met a few of the folks here, am not great at remembering names. I talked to one Elder named Ann here. She is a self-confessed ol’ hippie whose occupation in her ‘past life’ was a nurse. She is 62 Earth-years and an interesting conversationalist. I hope to get to know her better simply as a nice new friend. Actually people who talk too much and just ramble on and one can be nerve wracking. Ann has had an interesting life. The future will reveal what we cannot see now. Buenas Noches Vida!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
@6:00 AM ~ Slept better last night, at least, more comfortably than the previous night. I got up around 5 AM. It is good time to awaken for the new day. I made my first pot of strong coffee. I took my first shower here, which turned out ok. I had to wait for a bit for the water to get hot enough. I put a load of clothes in the washing machine, next I will throw them in the dryer. It is $1.50 to wash and $1.00 to dry.
At first the Laundry Room door was locked, but a Staff Member came by and opened it for me. He is a White guy and seemed nice enough. I forget his name now. I got to get better at remember the names of people I encounter around here, especially if it could be useful for the future.
These last several years I have been in employment situations where so many people come and go out of my life. Naturally, I will remember people with whom I come into contact more often, especially if they attend Workshops I have held or meetings I have coordinated. Still, I need to become better at remembering names as a matter of practical necessity.
Now I am hearing some Al Jarreau. He is a fantastic singer whom I have loved and enjoyed for a long time. I guess my favorite singer as a singer would have to be the great Stevie Wonder. He is about my age. Of course, I also love Sting. I went through lot of experiences when his music was on. I guess that is what attaches us to certain songs by some musical artists, we have had memorable experiences while they’re songs were playing
There is a great power in music, which I am sure Santana is keenly aware of in his own music. It has something to do with the actual vibrations themselves that come into our psyche, our ears and our souls in ways that are vibrated into the very core of our being.
@7:33 AM ~ Went outside awhile ago and it was still dark, I can tell the sun is coming up as it was not pitch dark. The black birds were raising up a storm! The corner store north of here was still closed. The intrepid Jehovah Witnesses were gathering in a small group north up the street.
I came back inside the hotel. I went into the Meeting Room which was empty. There is a table there where folks will put stuff they are giving away and no longer want. I picked up red sleeveless sweater than says You Got It in white lettering on the front of it.
Plus, I called my Dad. He picked up the phone. He is an early riser. He will get up around 3:30 or 4 AM. I told him I was doing fine. He was watching the news on TV No use worrying him about a few other matters. I am just glad I can call him and he will answer. I am so glad he is still alive. He has been kind of like a rock in my life. He was never much for fond expressions of love. He showed his concern by taking care of us while we were growing up and meeting our survival needs. I need to go see him every now and then now that I live a lot closer than before.
@8:10 AM ~ I took my clothes out of the dryer, folded them and will stash them in here. Coming back I saw a brother I use to know before from Sally’s named Raymond who lives on the 3rd Floor. He is a White dude a bit crossed eye. I told him it was good to see him and that I know some people already here. Then I saw the dropey looking gal I have seen around for quite awhile. She is also a former resident at Sally’s. I said “Hi” to her but she was unresponsive. She kind of seems like a ‘meteeche’ or busybody. I need to keep her at a distance. She came by to poke around.
I guess it is usual for people from other floors to come down here and use the kitchen. I think they should stay on their floor and use the kitchen facility on their own floor. I am right across from the kitchen area so I can hear folks in there doing stuff.
Maybe I read like a fuddy-duddy. I have learned to appreciate quietness and simple solitude. I suppose I should be more sociable. In the big picture of it all I am just passing through here for as long as it takes to be something published or another breakthrough out of nowhere comes bursting through into my life. Then we know the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
Most folks I know now are merely wrapped up in their own little selfish lives, living in a scared state and can’t be bothered with all the problems of the world. I understand the need for all of us to take care of ourselves on an existential level. Nonetheless, many people do not share the cosmic connection I do with the people of all the world. I need to find more people in my existential situation who share the same basic interests I do. That is what is good about being online. We are able to connect up with others and better share our struggles in life together. At least those who are online tend to be more aware of what is really going on.
@9:28 PM ~ This morning I went to Rite-Aid and got Raisin Bran cereal two for one and small milk. So that is what I ate today. On the way I ran into a Black Brother named Marcus who is not out by the river, on SSI and caught up in the whole demented drug scene. He is planning to go to a Hope Program in West Sacra soon. I see such self-destruction in some folks in my life.
I see a few former clients who continually self-sabotage their lives. I make a point of hearing them out when I see them. However, I am careful not to fall into the Co-Dependent trap. We make our choices in life and have to learn from the choices we make for well or ill. The ideal is to make good wise choices. Many folks make poor decisions because they do not have the basic knowledge, personal willpower and wise counsel to make better decisions.
I am now back at home from being at Salvation Army. I ended up walking up with a friend an caught the Light Rail by ‘I’ Street and it stopped just a half block from here.
We had a well attended CASA Meeting, especially with the Brothers from ARC (Adult Rehab Center). To rehabilitate is to reequip. We need to reequip ourselves with the survival tools necessary to live a good life. My old dear friend Matthew H. is back in at Sally’s because of an unfortunate incident he had at one of John Foley’s places. Hopefully he will be helped into his own place this month. He is a good strong brother. Plus, kitchen blessed us with cookies for the meeting, which unusual these days. So it was a good meeting.
Now hearing Corcavado by Astrud Gilberto and Carlos Jobim ~ Quiet Stars and Quiet Nights; it is an oldie but goodie that my Mom and Dad use to do together with the band and all that back in the day. Those were magical times we thought would just go on and on.
As a spoken and unspoken rule, usually at 12-Step Meetings whatever is said there stays there. One of those there has a relapse after a long time of sobriety. We need to understand that a relapse is not a part of recovery, not in the context of recovering from drug addiction. A relapse in such a case is a part of the disease, the dis-ease. We need to look at what were the factors that resulted in one being ill at ease to the point of a relapse. It is usually because of a flaw in one’s recovery program. We are dealing with the plague of drug addiction, not a bad flu.
One needs to have a strong support system which is composed of a conscious communion with the Creator; a sane and sober life-style and an constant awareness of the dangers of drug addiction. If one has a strong support system we can usually be stay safe, maintain the brain for our sanity and continue to stay sober one day at a time It is a simple program for those who have complicated their lives with drug addiction.
I need to get into the habit of taking my medication at 10 PM. Last night I was not sure if I had taken them or not. I take two 25mg tablets of Seroquel. I was not sure last night if I had taken them or not. I figured out that I did not take them. Thus, I was up late, did not sleep well and remember waking up one time about 4:30AM. I got up about 5 AM. Time for my meds!
@10:10 PM ~ It is nice and quiet here for now. Earlier this afternoon my new friend Ann was making some stuff in the kitchen, playing some country radio station loud and got me a little manic as I was trying to take a nap. I was not sure who it was until I had had enough and got up to check it out. Fortunately, it was Ann and she lowered it. It was resolved. It is really important for me to maintain good relations with the other residents here. A lot of life is about us being considerate of others, trying to get along in peace and keeping harmony as well as we can.
For us to really change we need to change within, strive to keep a positive attitude come what may, but being able to cordially and diplomatically iron out differences. It is easy for us to get petty resentments about stuff. Sometimes we need to merely be tolerant and avoid any dumb confrontations with people. Much of the time when conflicts arise it is because of inflated egos that need to get their way, when we are not able to compromise as long as not deep core principles are involved.
Life is dance that we need to dance with grace and agility. We know in a big storm the sturdy oak tree can break but the blade of grass bends. We do not always have to get out way, always be proven right and always have to have the last word. Often the best way proceed is simply to let a petty incident go and carry on with what we need to do in life without getting petty resentments that can grow, get worse and even last for years. Life is a dance. Let us pray that as time goes by I find a beautiful dancing partner!
Now hearing Who Can I Turn To? by Astrud Gilberto. These are such romantic tunes that it makes me want to share them with a special lady. It has been a long time since I have been in a strong committed relationship. At least I have gotten to know myself better than I ever have before. I remain honest, open and willing to change, to improve and to evolve as a humane being.
The reality is that my present situation is a solitary one. I am in a small room meant for one person. It is a small room that I want to turn into a cozy safe place. It is a far cry from my 5th Floor apartment at Globe Mills where I had a beautiful view overlooking the eastern part of Sacramento from there. Oh well. We have to play the carts we are dealt the best we can.
I cannot do the creative work I need to do with a woman always around. I need to be in a solitary situation. I am already building up more of fluidity in my typing. Thus, I am kind of rambling on here. Yes, there is a method to the madness!
Monday, March 12, 2012
@7:35 AM ~ My alarm started at 5:30 AM. I am not sure it is healthy to awaken with the concept of an Alarm. It should be more of a gentle spiritual awakening. I went into the bathroom, washed up and shaved. There is an N.A. Meeting at 8 AM that I plan on checking out. I hope to go to the West Sacra Library later on. The local Central Library is closed on Mondays.
I am not sure sometimes when to type we and when to time I. I guess when it is strictly about me I will use the ‘I’ and use ‘We’ when what a type can refer to all of us or to a larger ‘I’ that can include other aspects of my ‘Self’.
@10 AM ~ I went to the NA Meeting at 8 AM. There were several people there, mostly males as usual. It was OK. We work out of the Just For Today handbook. The topic was on not getting stuck in a rut. I spoke a bit about having a routine, being able to get a healthy lifestyle and breaking out of the routine from time to time. There is a big difference between a healthy routine and being stuck in a rut. I mentioned that people tend to drive me nuts, that I do not like to be around people who smell like alcoh0l or folks who are doping. I went in a little late and left a little early. Some of the NA rituals I find so boring and redundant.
I just had a bowl of Raising Bran with milk. I had some coffee. And have already had a few smokes. The West Sacra Library opens at 12 Noon. Catnap time.
@5:56 PM ~ I am now at the Temple Cafe on 9th Street between J and K Streets. I am here on my Laptop. A friend of mine named John L. is here too. I finally figured out I had $100 on my CEPS Pulse Card. I went to the little store on 10th and K Street, was able to take out only $40. At least I know a little about the process now.
I am trying to focus on doing what I am doing. John is speaking about about his home in Idaho near Spear Lake. Sometimes people can be real distracting. I do not want to be impolite. Why can't folks be into self-reflection in order to avoid babbling? Oh well, it is what it is.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I was awoken by my alarm @5 AM. Laid down for awhile, remembering a bit about my dreams and thought of the day ahead. Going to the Temple last night pretty cool, but it is $2.50 per cup of coffee and I think that is a little expensive for me. I had two cups so it came to $5 dollars. I cannot spend money as frivolously as I use to in the past when I was employed. Times have changed. When times change one must go with the change.
I now have $56 dollars in my wallet. I should go to Safeway. I am not sure if I should of gone to CEPS to pick up a check for one hundred dollars. I was finally able to call via my Pulse Card and found out I had a hundred in my account. Last week Heather said that I did already have a hundred in it. So it is no a mystery, the vast realm of the unknown. I have a Medical Appointment this Thursday, but I need to call and confirm in order to make sure. I already have paid my phone and have my Bus Ticket for the month. So I am cool for now.
I need to figure out how much I have in my account at any given time. I dislike having to depend on getting a hold of Heather to find out. I need to find out better how this whole payee bullshit works. On the one hand, having CEPS as my payee is kind of a protection for my SSI Status, then on the other hand, I dislike not having ready access to my ‘dinero’ and knowing readily how much I have at any given point in time.
@11:54 AM ~ I am now at Sacra Central Library (SCL acronym). Do not now have Internet Access. I wonder if Mercury in retrograde is a factor. Am I being a wee bit superstitious?
@12:01 PM ~ I had to ReStart my Laptop and now have Internet Connection! Yipee! I was going to go to Midtown Market earlier. It has rained a bit outside. So I decided just to come here. I want to live my life as free of discomfort and hassle as I can, unless of course discomfort is necessary for a revolutionary reason.
@1:00 PM ~ My dear friend George was here for awhile. He is real talkative with me. He has left the building so I can get back to work. It cracks me up how folks just do not clearly see that when they interrupt me here for whatever reason that they are really distracting me. However, sometimes it is good to listen to what others are saying as it could be helpful for me in the future. I do not want to be just someone who absorbs what others are spouting because they want someone to listen to their rambling. George was talking about the trains going through the area by there, train engines and stuff. I did not know they put engines in the middle of a train line!
Now back to work!
@10:44 PM ~ I admit to feeling kind of lonely right now. Most of the folks who are here are kind of in a depressed type mode, not very friendly and seem to be mistrustful. Yep, they are typical Amerikans in Amerika. I have only a few I would even consider close to being a friend here. Those of us who are here have all been hurt, injured or become handicapped in one way or the other. I suppose the term handicapped is not really ‘politically correct’ and there is not necessarily a physical handicap. I guess a more accurate term would be ‘challenged’. We have been challenged by life!
I figure most here are on SSI. I do not have the figures or demographics of folks here. It is kind of a sad lot. For us, just being on SSI puts us in a higher income level than most homeless folks. I know we should be appreciative. Being appreciative should not mean that we are completely satisfied with our lot. I wonder what the statistics are on SSI people in the USA. There is much research for me to do on different subjects.
I took my meds when my Rooster Alarm went off at 10:01 PM. I think it is a cute alarm. It reminds me when I was a kid by what is now Zapata Park. We lived upstairs in this upper flat and there was a rooster that would crow every morning. I do not remember if it was just one or not. Anyways, my next Alarm will go off at 5:30 AM. I enjoy waking up early when I have had sufficient sleep.
I checked online today with AT&T about getting Internet Connection here at home. There price seemed reasonable for now. I am not sure how I go about finding out at any given time exactly what my SSI Account Balance is, other than contacting Heather with CEPS and hoping she will contact me when she gets around to it. I want to see Internet Access for all of us. I know AT&T has a long dark history, especially in South America.
My Friend Barbara is to come by here tomorrow around 8:30 AM. I hope she will bring a desk so I can be more situated. She knows I need one, or rather, would like to have one. The Lord will provide! I am not sure what all she is bringing. I need what help I can right now.
I have learned to distinguish between where is really a survival need and what is a mere desire. All my needs are being mere here now in my life.
I found out about the Visitor policy here from talking to a gringo Monitor. Visitors must Sign In at the Front Desk, leave their ID and then they can visit a resident. If they are not with a resident, then, Front Desk cane Intercom the resident who must then come up to the Front Desk to accompany the Visitor. It is a necessary drag and inconvenience. I know it helps to keep out unsavory characters from just sneaking in and prowling about. I am not sure who is where in what room around me anyways. Life is full of so many unknowns and mysteries.
I was able to Text a bit with my online Friend and Sister Sally in Australia. She has been a dear friend. One time, a few years ago, her and her husband came by to visit me when they are on vacation here in the States. It was a visit for only part of a day, yet it was a memorable time. I cracked up when I bought her a tamale and she did not even know about having to unwrap the corn leaves within which they come before eating it!
Earthlings really need to know about each others cultures and ways of living. Nada mas ahora!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
@10:05 AM ~ I went to morning NA Meeting here. There were about 18 people who were there; mainly it seems from Sally’s ARC, though others were in attendance. I shared about relationships involving the Creator, myself and others based upon pure love. I know some were not able to grasp what I was saying about the importance of humility, without one cannot have a strong recovery program nor a strong liberation program.
My friend Barbara came by and brought a small desk stand that fits my laptop good and a blanket; two items that I needed. She asked what else I needed and a told her just her continued friendship. I really meant that. We often take our best friends for granted and that is a real pity. We should treasure our friends more than fine linen or glittery gold.
I plan to head out to the SCL (Sacra Central Library) to get on the Net, plus I got to make some calls. My mobile phone does not get a good signal from inside this room. I need to keep in mind that thought this becomes an Online Journal that it is also for me to keep track of the little developments in my life. Nada mas ahora!
@1:16 PM ~ It is another rainy day and it kind of dampens my spirit. I do not really feel like going to my Medical Appt. tomorrow out in DPH. Minus, I am not sure what time it is and I feel OK in the physical sphere.
I guess I am kind of just enjoying being on SSI now, not stuck as a wage slave under any maddening management and just keeping busy doing what I do. I am sure I will stabilize more as time goes by. It is good to have a good regular routine if it is a healthy one, not self-destructive.
@7;07 PM ~ Now I am at the stage in my life where my personal situation is starting to sink in more. I have my own new sanctuary, a room of my own and a place where I can focus more on what I need to be creating.
I am relatively free of any external distractions that can hinder my concentration span. I will continue to go with the flow, yet stay aware of the general direction of the flow of my life.
I have decided to live my life as nobly as I can while being Honest, Open and Willing to change, to evolve and to mature as a humane being. I will try to avoid trite clichés and oft repeated sayings that anyone with any substantial degree of life experience should know already. It is good to be creative, to be unique and to tell stories as truthfully as our own memory allows and discretion permits.
So many folks are frozen in fear, afraid to speak of their flaws and generally live life not for themselves but for the acceptance of others. This is tragic because many others are not even living truthfully in their own lives themselves! Many are stuck into making sure they stick with the herd and do not stray too far a field. They huddle together, try not to stand out from the herd and endure being plain as they hide from their true inner self.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
@6:46 AM ~ I woke up at 5:30 AM, got my coffee going and took a hot shower. Is it true that coffee is the 2nd largest commodity used by us, with oil in the 1st place? I know coffee with its caffeine is another addiction of mine. When I am not drinking coffee in the morning I am drinking Diet Pepsi, which also contains caffeine. I do not wake up and get up springy as I use to do in younger days. Coffee helps us get our morning lift. It is a key part of the morning routine for many millions around the world. I imagine that research will reveal the foreign exploitation going on in foreign countries behind the whole coffee industry.
@5:17 PM ~I went to Sacra Central Library this morning. I spent a lot of time going through my Google Albums and deleted a bunch of pictures. Some old stuff, some old memories, esp. with my former love Peach in them. Funny how stuff can be so valuable to us at one point in our lives then later just so many reminders we need to let go of in order to keep afresh. So it is now the afternoon. I might go to The Temple later on to hop on the Net, be in public and not simply isolate myself here.
So many folks in my life right now, in my immediate reality life, are so lost in apathy, non-involved in life and uninterested in stuff that fascinates me. Of course, that has a lot to do with where I am at in a geographical sense. I do not have a vehicle, though I do have a monthly RT sticker for getting around. Plus, my mobile phone does not work well from within my room.
My private room has a solid brick wall to the north, the doorway is to the east, then there is a wall with plugs to the south and on the west side of the room is my room window. It is a small room but suits me fine for now. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!
I posted up my article I wrote this morning onto my Word Press Blog, onto Twitter and on Facebook. Plus, to a few folks I know on Facebook. Sometimes I feel like I am typing all this stuff up for any survivors after a great Apocalypse. I find that folks are not good at giving feedback due to a few different fears. Maybe they are afraid they will offend. Maybe they are not too sure of their own belief-system. Maybe they are just too lazy to give what we write any real thought, let alone post a comment.
I see more and more how widespread and embedded apathy is in the Amerikan psyche. It is not merely a matter of people not even caring that is the crux of the problem. It is the commitment they will be challenged to make once they admit that there is a lot going on that is wrong in the world and their need to take some kind of remedial action about it all.
Venceremos Unidos! We Will Win Together!
Don Peter S Lopez AKA @Peta_de_Aztlan on Twitter c/s
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bloglink~ http://peta-de-aztlan.blogspot.com/
Twitter Link~ http://twitter.com/Peta_de_Aztlan
Humane Liberation Party Portal
~ http://help-matrix.ning.com/
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please Comment with conscious love!