Friday, March 16, 2012
@7:16 AM ~ I awoke at 5:30 AM from my Alarm, though it did not have the Rooster Sound, need to check that ~but I did not actually get up until 6:30 AM. Nonetheless, I slept pretty well. That is good. I made my morning coffee. I need to go get more milk later on. Plus, check with CEPS. I was going to go to a Clean and Sober Meeting at Loaves. Now my enthusiasm in that direction is not into it. The Library opens at 12 Noon today. It is nice and quiet here. No music on. No media on. Just my lonesome dove self and my laptop. It’s all good.
Actually, I do not like to use absolute terms as they are generally inaccurate. Using absolute terms to describe or explain phenomena can often result in one thinking in terms of absolutes. Dialectics teaches us that ‘everything is relative and nothing is absolute’. No situation can be all good or all bad, at least, not ‘all’ in the absolute sense. Thinking in absolutes is lazy thinking, not taking the required time or taking the effort to think things through and reflecting our thoughts in more accurate ways. Nothing is really non-existent. What is a ‘no thing’? A ‘thing’ must be a real thing or else how can we correctly think about it or know it? How can we know everything? Thinking in absolute terms if often the ways of ‘absolute rulers’ in the world. There can be no truly absolute rulers.
@10:10 AM ~ I attended the NA Meeting here. My Brother Bobby was there. It was good to see him. The topic today was Personal Inventory and the 4th Step of the NA 12-Steps. I know our CASA 12-Steps Program is a better more inclusive one. I work with what I got before me.
Afterwards my Brother Bobby AKA Tata submitted his ID to the Front Desk, I had to Sign him in and then he had to Sign out when he left. It is a petty homeland security idea. I think it is up to the people involved to monitor themselves. I no longer need any monitoring. So my Brother Bobby checked out my little room. He has some potatoes and stuff I want to get later on.
Bobby helped me check out my Desktop computer so now I can play DVDs on it. I was not sure earlier how to do it. I am usually a busy typer here on my Laptop.
So now I am here alone. I am in an appreciative mood. I handle my BPD pretty well. As long as I do not have anyone around me I want to muzzle or strangle I am fine.
I try to remain aware, conscious of what I am doing and feel for any mood changes that are going on in my psyche. We are a trinity in the mind, body and soul. All of us in our being needs to be aware, balanced and open to the inevitable changes the crop up in life.
Sabbath, March 17, 2012
@1:30 PM ~ I am now at Sacra Central Library. Saw Brother Edward R. earlier, he took the time to write me a little encouraging Christian note as I was away from my Laptop here. It is nice when I see a few friends that I know who take the time to come here up and away from the sinister streets below.
My Brother Bobby came by to Shasta earlier. He brought me some foodstuffs. I called Geri earlier and talked to her for awhile. Her Son ~who is like a Stepson to me ~says he misses me. Life goes on. I am just so so thankful that I have my own little place, my own little room and it helps to keep my somewhat Big Ego in check. I suspect that we sometimes exhibit our Big Ego because we are afraid of getting lost in the Big World. So many people have been born, lived and died without so many others not even knowing that they even existed. I find that to be a bizarre thought.
We owe it to our Inner Self, to the people of the world and to the Cosmos to strive to find meaning in our lives, to commit to a meaningful mission in life that involves helping others. I for one cannot fathom a life that does not involve helping out where I am here on Mother Earth. If we have true love for ourselves we will help to make life better for us and for our loved ones. The ideal here is to expand our hearts so that we have compassion for all living beings, especially those less fortunate who are really dying because of a lack of love being emitted towards them. I believe love is a basic need on all levels and in all realms. We need love the same as we need air, water and sunlight.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
@1:22 PM ~Strange. Now Sacra Central Library allows me to Blog here without any time limit. Just recently it had a hour limit. I thought it was kind of an infringement on my Right to Freedom of Speech. I Emailed the Sacra Library system awhile back, but never saw a response to my Email. I wonder what goes on behind screens that the public is not privy too.
This evening is our CASA 12-Steps Meeting at 7 PM at the local Salvation Army Emergency Shelter on 1200 North B Street here in Sacramento. I keep plugging away. Apathy is certainly a psycho-social disease. It can get really discouraging. I guess that is why it is all called a struggle.
Monday, March 19, 2012
@3:46 PM ~ Now at Yolo County Library, the Arthur Turner Branch. Today it is pretty busy here with lots of folks. I guess that is the way a library should be.
I should now have either a check for $100 at CEPS or it should be on my Account I will find out more tomorrow. I am blessed to have some money in my wallet now. Thus, I am not really stressed about it. Life is a lot more easier than it us to be for me. It is hard for me to totally feel secure in a financial sense as I have had the bottom fall out from under me before. Thank you Creator AKA God AKA Pure Love AKA Divine Goodness!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
@8:46 ~ I am in my sanctuary right now. My alarm went off without a hitch at 5:30 AM. However, I did not actually get up until about 8:30 AM, then, I made coffee, took a shower, served a cold breakfast of Honey Oats cereal and now am listening to some Brazilian jazz. A good way to start the day, in fact, the first day of Spring!
My Brother Bobby Texted me and said there was a native ceremony at the State Capitol with songs and drums. He is getting more and more into positive activities sponsored by the Sacramento Native American Health Center AKA SNAHC. This is good for him as it helps him to feel a sense of community unity with others. In fact, it is a key factor in him being aware and staying aware of the importance of being involved in a good healthy community.
It is key for us to have a sense of community with others in a certain cultural setting. It helps to combat any kind of lonely isolation. It gives us an essential connectivity with others outside of and beyond or lone individual self. It gives us a feeling of meaningful membership in a group larger than our own self as a humane being. It is healthy for our own personal well-being.
Naturally, when we get involved in a community setting with others there arises the complex of relationships, whom we prefer to be around, who relates to us on a personal level and how together the members of a community relate to each other. A community should have a common purpose as a reason for existence or else why belong to a given community?
In a weird way writing gives me a sense potential connectivity to a given community. I know that I will share what I type here with others in one form or another. It then has the potential to enter into the collective consciousness of a given community.
There are many kinds of community, just as there are many kinds of people. We can have a local community composed of people who share the same geographical location. We can have a community of people with whom we have common interests together. We can have an online community of people in an online group who discuss topics of interest to the group. We can have a group of people with whom we have a common cause, such as, the various 12-Steps Groups that meet together to combat one kind of substance addiction or another. Or else we can have a diverse community of people who share the same basic agenda, such as, the Occupy Wall Street Movement.
The ideal here is for us to establish a ‘sense of community’ with others in ways that make us stronger as a community of people who have a common purpose for existence and also fortifies us on an individual existential level. Thus, enhancing our collective well-being.
@12:12 PM ~ I am now at Sacra Central Library. One of my favorite Internet spots in the whole world now. On the way here I ran into little Lisa, a cute little blond who was helped along the way and is doing fine now. She was thankful to me, but I always give credit where credit is due to God AKA Creator. Plus, afterwards I ran into Sister Deborah Weese, wife of Richard Hurst. We had a good conversation about some psyche issues related to the Ds AKA Disorders, such as, bi-polar, AD(H)D and other matters. It was good to see her and hear the family is doing good. I am one who appreciates good stimulating conversations. Now time to hop up on the Internet!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
@1:34 PM ~ I am now at Sacra Central Library. Spent most of this morning at Sanctuary while AT&T guy named Christan worked on getting my Internet Connection going. Just got a call from him here and I should have connection now. Will monkey with it when I get home.
It seems I will not get any kind of substantial help from anyone I know in regards to building up the Humane Liberation Party. It gets depressing and somewhat frustrating. People just do not feel a need to get involved in a political party and tend to be afraid of any real genuine commitment to the Revolution in general. People do not want to relate to any form of authority or chain of command, do not like orders and do not follow simple instructions. Then I could be mistaking my limited experience for a general one.
If there is to be Global Liberation that should be a Liberation Party, definitely there needs to be Vanguard Leadership to one degree or another. Maybe we need a Global Liberation Party and a Global Liberation Army!
http://www.globalliberationarmy.net/
I am convinced that many people just have too much time on their hands and do not know what to do with it. Thus, they waste time in selfish idle pursuits transmitting trivia. I found the above via Google on Global Liberation.
Time to go to Rite-Aide to go see if my meds are ready. I am OK with taking Meds now, it is only 50 mgs. of Seraquel ~ LINK: http://www.seroquelxr.com/
Indications
Seroquel XR is a once-daily tablet approved in adults for (1) add-on treatment to an antidepressant for patients with major depressive disorder (MDD) who did not have an adequate response to antidepressant therapy; (2) acute depressive episodes in bipolar disorder; (3) acute manic or mixed episodes in bipolar disorder alone or with lithium or divalproex; (4) long-term treatment of bipolar disorder with lithium or divalproex; and (5) schizophrenia.
Seroquel is approved for (1) acute depressive episodes in bipolar disorder in adults; (2) acute manic episodes in bipolar disorder in adults when used alone or with lithium or divalproex; (3) acute manic episodes in bipolar disorder in children and adolescents ages 10 to 17 years; (4) long-term treatment of bipolar disorder in adults with lithium or divalproex; (5) schizophrenia in adults and (6) schizophrenia in adolescents ages 13-17 years.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
@1:40 PM ~ Now at Sacra Central Library. I had a good discussion with Kendra from Shasta Hotel about the idea of having an A.A. Group that a resident named Evans had. She is interested in there being an evening 12-Steps Meeting. I am willing to help. A big obstacle to such a group there is that there is a huge psycho-social disease called apathy that has infected most folks.
We had a good discussion about a few different approaches to recovery. I discussed CASA 12-Steps, DRA (Dual Recovery Anonymous) and a wholistic approach to recovery and character development in general.
I still do not have Internet at home now. I talked to Brother Dave S. up on the 5th Floor. He has the Power Connection that I need for my System to boot up. Thus, I am looking forward to that this evening. He will be around today with no plans for venturing out.
I have become more conscious about the need for structuring my time in order to get more benefits from the time I have now. I am still insecure about the whole idea of my whole life and personal income being based upon SSI. Thus, I need to stay in shape, take care of my health and structure my time so that I can reap the tangible benefits of venturing into the Publishing world.
LINKS ~
http://www.saradouglass.com/soyou.html
http://www.thecreativepenn.com/publishing/ ~ https://www.facebook.com/TheCreativePenn
https://twitter.com/#!/thecreativepenn ~Twitter @thecreativepenn
Sabbath, March 24, 2012
@11:51 AM ~ I am now on the 4th Floor at the Sacra Central Library AKA SCL. Yesterday I had two AT&T guys in my room to check out my Internet Connection. It seems the problem is that I need a new modem to work with my AT&T order. The modem I got from David S. was not suitable. I may be able to get a cheap used modem from a Goodwill Store the guy said. Sounds kind of goofy to me, then I am not the technician.
It is kind of a cloudy dreary day here. I am trying to keep my health up, keep my spirit up and keep up my whole self-esteem in general. Some days are easier than other days; some nights are easier than others. I try to maintain the brain and avoid any mood swings from either the manic end of the mood spectrum or the depressive deep end. Even being manic or depressed is liveable. I just want to avoid extreme mood swings, not the homicidal manic killing end or the suicidal depressant end. Maybe that sounds a little extreme for anyone reading this besides me or a few who know me close enough.
I am happy to report that today I have 7 years and 9 months off of drinking alcohol. I still take it one day at a time and am still working on my continued progressive recovery.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
@12:45 PM ~ At SCL and it's another day in paradise. Well.... not actually, but that is one of my sayings to help me look at the brighter side of life. I am fighting off a slight cold, still do not have Internet Connection at home because I need to get the right modem and I saw a couple of mice in my room who had been trying to get at some Ramen noodles I had in a bag (ended up throwing it away). On my way here I bought some Bayer aspirin at Rite-Aide and took two of them; still need to see about the right modem for my Internet; and I know that Kendra with Shasta is aware of the little hole in my room wall. Life goes on, whether we want it to or not. It gives us choices in how we will relate to it all. This evening I have my usual CASA 12-Steps Meeting at Sally's and that helps boost up my spirit. Now time to check out my Twitter Account.
@4:26 PM ~ Still here at Library. Time goes by pretty quick here. With my tendency towards ADD I sometimes get distracted from what I want or had plan to go at any given moment. I really need to plan and structure my time better now that I do not have a regular 8-hour job. Time can be tyrant and time can be a treasure.
Monday, March 26, 2012
@1:08 PM ~ Now at West Sacra Library. It looks like stormy weather today, thus I inserted this sexy stormy picture. I will be here until later when I need to catch the Bus back into Downtown Sacramento.
Out CASA 12-Steps Meeting went well yesterday evening, as usual. Plus, we were blessed by kitchen staff with cookies, which is a delight as we usually do not have treats. Sometimes it bait to get more folks to come to the meeting, though whoever comes comes. I catch 'em and God cleans 'em. Coordinating the CASA 12-Steps Meeting is a grounding for me, keeping me in touch with others, carrying the Message of progressive recovery and trying to raise a spiritual consciousness.
My old friend and Companero Michael AKA Gallo was there too. It is good when I see him. He is one of the few people in my personal life who understands more than most where my mentality is at. He took me back to my room at the Shasta Hotel, checked it out and then he had to leave. He understands more the aspirations I have in terms of helping people and some of the frustrations I go through with people who are infected with the evil disease of apathy. So many folks just do not give a damn about anything else except their own individualistic lives without seeing the big picture in life.
Started seeing the DVD 'Love In A Time of Cholera-. I see the Commentary and will see the actual movie later on this evening. One time I bought two copies of the book for a love I was loving, who turned out to be bit flaky, and myself. I started to read it but never got around to reading it. Then when I had to move out of my old place at Globe Mills I had to leave it behind, along with a lot of other stuff I either left with friends or tossed out. So I am glad I will at least be able to see the movie.
#BOOK: Love in the Time of Cholera ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Author), Edith Grossman (Translator) ~ http://amzn.to/GR4RvV ~
#Love in the Time of Cholera (2007) - IMDb ~ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0484740/ ~
#Love in the Time of Cholera - Theatrical Trailer - YouTube 1:49 ~ http://bit.ly/H8nt8e ~
True love is pure love and is its own saving grace. It makes life bearable. If you find it treasure it with all your heart. Many long for a great enduring love in life, but sometimes our eyes are closed when it comes around. Naturally many people get tangled up between pure love and the desire of lust. Learn to tell the difference in quality. The climax of lust can be several seconds, pure love can endure forever and ever. Life is about loving and being loved. Letting your pure love shine out in the darkest of times is a great gift to others and your self. Sadly, many people are afraid of falling in love, afraid of opening up and afraid of being vulnerable to pain and rejection. We often hide out feelings of love for others, thinking we are so clever, but the heart knows its own mysteries. Sadly, many people no longer believe in love, in pure love, it is the most important quality in life today. Sadly, many people find it far more easier to exhibit hatred in life than to let pure love shine. Easier to hate than to love. Cruelty often hides behind the mask of realism and the pretense of practicality. Be not fooled! Do not be afraid to show feelings. As humane beings we should comprehend that ultimately revolutionary transformation is love motivated, not hate motivated. In fact, without a great enduring pure love there will be no relevant revolution, only a new set of tyrants.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
@3:55 PM ~ I am now at SCL, my usual spot with the usual suspects. I have been taking life one day at a time. For now I am content at the Shasta Hotel in my little room. I may apply at the Berry Hotel. I want to kind of stabilize myself on SSI for now. I am still insecure about being on it, as if at any time the government may pull the rug out from under me. Life is often such an insecure experience as it is. I feel secure in my beingness, in my inner consciousness and knowing that I have a deep pure love for life; as I strive to obtain a level of pure love for all living beings.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
@4:04 PM ~ Now at SCL. It is frustrating when this computer gets frozen and I have to manually shut it off. I do not know how much longer it will serve me, it too I take one day at a time. I still need to see about my new modem for my AT&T Connection. Maybe tomorrow.
I just had to re-schedule my Molina Appointment on Marysville Blvd. at the Marysville Clinic because I am a mess right now with the flu, including a fever. I have scheduled this medical appointment several times but for one reason or another have not made it. I need to go by Rite-Aide and pick up a few items on my way back to my sanctuary. I laid down more of this day earlier, getting up to urinate and still have not eaten anything yet, though I did have some vegetable juice.
I have a few concerns right now about someone who get maniacal on me or towards me, but I will not blurt it out here. There are many folks who have some deep-seated hateful resentments that just torture them because they do not have a higher level of consciousness about some matters.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
@4:00 PM ~ Now at Sacra Central Library on the 4th Floor in the center area. I usually am not situated in this spot. My usual spot is taken. Sometimes we just have to adjust. It will be open until 6 PM. Thank God for the Public Library! It is a safe place where homeless people can go inside to be safe, warm and check out books
Today I finally decided to go ahead and buy the Modem for my AT&T Internet Connection at home for $75 plus. Thus, I should be able to get online at home in my sanctuary later. I hope it goes well.
Today's quote ~"That's kind of the deeper key to what I want to do; open the borders between people."
-- Juan Felipe Herrera
My flu is actually better right now, though the bad cough remains. I was really out of it yesterday. Tripped out how a cold or flu affects cognition and presence of mind.
I am thinking about what is the best use of my time in life these days. I do believe greatly in raising a humane consciousness among people.
@8:25 PM ~ I am here now in my Sanctuary. I now have Internet Access here at home in my little backroom on my regular Desktop computer. I have not had it so since late May of 2011. So it has been around ten months for me since I was able to use this computer, have Internet Access and be alone in order to type up what I need to type up. Plus, to amplify my Internet Presence. So I feel good right now. As usual, it need to keep in balance.
Right now I need a regular simple desk of some kind. I now have the keyboard here laid across my forelegs as I am typing sitting on my bed. It works for now. Praise the Lord!
Friday, March 30, 2012
@3:18 PM ~ Funny how posting here gives me a kind of grounding when I am on the Net. There is so much timely Information out there that I need to be aware of when I am being overloaded. Posting here gives me a sense of my beingness without getting caught up in the drama trauma of others in my vicinity.
At first, when I woke up this morning I could not hop online, but I checked out the instructions, unplugged stuff and then the net boosted up. Kendra the manager had to come through my window here because the clean up lady had locked her keys in the door in the courtyard here. So I was able to climb through my window here and opened up the courtyard door. Plus, Kendra gave me a little table that I now have my computer on. So to me that is a great blessing.
I still have a scorched throat, am still with a bad cough and have been in here in my room all day. Guess I will go to the store now for something to eat.
Sabbath, March 31, 2012
@11:59 PM ~ Today was a pretty pleasant day, though the weather was a bit wacky. My Brother Bobby came by this late morning. He is doing sanely. Sometimes I really worry about him, but he has a good head on his shoulder. He just needs to learn more seriously about the dangers of self-indulgence.
Today was Cesar Chavez's Birthday. The Story of Cesar Chavez: LINK: http://bit.ly/f2NRWt
I Tweeted a lot from Education of the Heart- Quotes by Cesar Chavez via the UFW Website. I hope others enjoyed them. Short Link: http://bit.ly/HFQhmv
So far I enjoy staying here at the Shasta Hotel. No one really bugs me. I am left to my own self in order to entertain or amuse myself as I want in this room. It is cool for me that in this section there are only a few actual residents. So there is not a lot of noise from comings and goings. I have truly learned to appreciate my private solitude, esp. as most people have a way of getting on my nerves and making me feel a mild form of mania.
Tomorrow is April Fool's Day. I hope I do not suffer from any foolish pranks. Sometimes this dumb holiday has its share of insanity.
http://www.pablopicasso.org/
I pray the month of April will bring showers of love for flowers in May. Namaste! ~ Che Peta
P.S. There will be many Ches. c/s
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Bloglink~ http://peta-de-aztlan.blogspot.com/
Twitter Link~ http://twitter.com/Peta_de_Aztlan
Humane Liberation Party Portal
~ http://help-matrix.ning.com/
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