Sunday, April 15, 2012

Online Journal= April 01-15, 2012 via @Peta_de_Aztlan

Sunday, April 01, 2012
@11:28 PM ~ I just created this blogpost for my Online Journal here for April. I see there are now advertisements on my blog here, thus, I guess it is not really all mine. Such is life when one's still lives under corporate-profit obsessed capitalism. Oh well, it will try to work with it. I saw the same kind of advertisements on my WordPress Blog too. Guess it is an April Fool's joke on us bloggers. I suppose they want us now to buy the actual blog if we want to be rid of them.

Our CASA 12-Steps Meeting went well. I ran the meeting despite my having a bad cough, sore throat and feeling a little ill. I thought of not going for a minute, then I thought of all the times when I showed up dope sick or hungover in the past without griping.

I see that I need to keep my focus in terms of my typing in relation to my niche of progressive recovery,  though my mind has progressed far beyond what is to me a narrow field to journal on. I need to type up stuff that will expand into other areas, such as, the connections and interconnections between drug addiction, the Drug Wars and the global impact of drugs. To me it is all interconnected. People need to see these interconnections, be able to view the Big Picture that ties in the street crackhead to grandma's pill-popping. 

I no longer subscribe to the old-fashioned A.A. and N.A. approach to combating drug addiction. How can you get people to go straight if you tell them they are doomed to eternally be a drunk or a drug addict. Who wants to be satisfied with merely 'arresting' the addiction when the basis cure involves promoting pure love for life, pure love for one's self and pure love for the people. We need to look towards appropriate spiritual solutions without being stuck in a strictly 12-steps framing of the drug addiction problem.

I  imagine I will use this blog more assiduously to loosen up in my journaling and get more into a consistent pattern of typing up my thoughts, opinions and reflections about life aboveground.

Tuesday, April 03, 2012
@12:48 AM ~ Late here now from a late Monday night. My coughing kept me up a lot last night. I did my usual Tweeting and saw a couple of movies on Netflix. I really enjoy watching movies online via Netflix.

Good Movie: In the Name of the Father / Guildford Four~
~ ~

The truth is that the last four years I so I hardly ever sat down and just watched a movie, as if I was wasting valuable time. Now I have learned that it can be healthy for me, plus, it helps build up my concentration skills. My years I have been plagued with  degrees of ADHD, usually just ADD but a tendency towards ADHD. So it is part of my working on my mental health when I take the time to watch Netflix movies. That's my story and I am sticking to it! For us, smile!

@10:45 AM ~ I woke up a little late today. I need to take a shower, get dressed up, see how much I have in my Pulse Account and perhaps go by a Monthly Bus Pass. That is one matter I cannot relate to about having a Payee, I do not readily know exactly how much I have on the books at any given time. I will have to cope with it for now. I feel that I am sane, sober and responsible enough to handle my own oh so limited income. Eventually I hope to publish a decent book and get off SSI in general. For now it is a great blessing, gives me a source of income and helps meet my basic needs, esp. shelter. So I do not want to be misunderstood in any way. I am appreciative, yet still not completely satisfied. I am still waking up more every day to my new life situation.

Wednesday, April 4, 2o12

@11:24 AM ~ Thank God for my little blog here. It does give me a sense of grounding, consistency and flow that I feel is healthy for me. I still have a scorched throat, my energy level is low, but I am enduring one day at a time. I called my Pulse Card, where my Payee CEPS puts some of my SSI Income and now have $300+ in my Account now. So I am doing pretty well, all matters considered, and am just taking life as it comes on day at a time.

I think it is important in writing or typing for one to 'go with the flow' and not be constantly censoring one's creative expressions. I imagine that some stuff pops up straight from the subconscious realm of our collective consciousness, then it could be merely my own personal consciousness. However, I am a creature of the Great Creator and feel a kinship towards all living creatures. In relation to consciousness, I would say that there are different levels of consciousness.

Perhaps at the largest grandest level we can refer to a cosmic consciousness that embraces all of the cosmos. A cosmic consciousness certainly gets us out of our own little individual personal consciousness. Then we can have a kind of global consciousness within which we comprehend the world in which we live and our relation to it as being one of billions of people here on Mother Earth. Finally, there is our individual existential personal consciousness which is concerned with our personal life and its priorities. In a way, all these different levels of consciousness are related and integrated together. The key is to be able to keep a dynamic balance between the various levels of consciousness, that is, the connections between the macro and the micro.

Moving Forward with Mercury Direct ~Retrograde relief is at hand by Emily Trinkaus

Note: I notice that the advertisements are gone today on my blog that Google had put up. I need to remember that I must Update stuff here that I type for me not to lose it before I Send Google Feedback. There is a little rectangular window on the lower right of my screen here that plainly says 'Send feedback'. I availed myself of the opportunity yesterday. It could be that Google is checking to see who is actually using their Blogs or not. This may get sticky because I do have several others blogs that I do not usually blogpost in. It could be that my several other blogs are a bit of a reflection of my OCD tendency, yet they are also handy online storage spaces for stuff. Time to Update!

Thursday, April 5, 2012
@10:55 AM. ~Today was a pretty good day. I got my RT Disabled Regional Transit Pass and paid my Android Phone Bill. I assume my rent has been paid by CEPS out of my SSI Allowance. I still need to pay my AT&T Bill so I can keep my Internet up here in my little Sanctuary. It is so  good to have my own place to call 'home'. It has been a long journey getting here. I lost so much stuff and have gone through so many changes in my psyche that I view life a lot more different than I did one year ago.

I have learned not to take simply luxuries for granted, to see certain matters I use to take for granted before as real blessings, even luxuries. For me, being able to have my own little room, my own little bed and my own little space here is a great luxury. So many folks I know take so much for granted.

I have also learned to refrain from collecting more stuff or acquiring stuff that I do not really need on a personal level. Many people acquire so much stuff as if them having more stuff makes them more worthy and valuable. It is in stuff that cannot be seen by the naked eye where much wealth dwells.

My heart goes out to all the needy people in the world who have endless needs. I understand what Mother Teresa meant when she talked about people needing stuff beyond physical needs, such as, needing to be cared for, needing to be touched, needing to be encouraged and simply needing to be loved just for who and what they are without a list of set qualifications. I just pray that we all learn in time and that our often savage species does not suffer mass annihilation. Alas, it is our own personal character defects and untreated spiritual diseases that constantly threatens us with extinction.Mankind in his short history has made a great many mistakes ~ I have better hope for all of humankind, esp. with women. Man is still the arrogant predatory beast who wants to cast his sinister shadow on all our plates, taste all our meals. We need to cultivate our best qualities as humane beings who have endless compassion for all living being. Being imperfect. Our oceans are in peril, our limited natural resources are being depleted and we still cannot even feed all our children. We should all be very humble, forgiving and understanding of others. Many are going through their own hell.

Let us pray for all our loved ones and for those who need love. Life can be torture when one feels as if they are all alone in a mad insane world. Nada mas ahora! ~ Che Peta

Good Friday, April 6, 2012
@ 1:15 PM ~ Just came back from seeing a Doctor at Molina Clinic on Marysville Blvd. He wants me to get more bloodwork done and gave me a prescription for diabetic medication. I just am glad I finally got the nerve and the focus to go to my appointment. I have another appointment in a week or so.

I called Geri and left a Message this morning. She is usually up late with Rick and is a late riser. When I was staying there it use to bug me how late the two of them would stay up because I prefer going to bed when night is good, at least by 11 PM and definitely by Midnight. I enjoy the freshness of mornings. I pray the two of them are doing fine. It is a complex case because she was such a blessing to me when I needed it, though I could not approve of the way she would late Rick boss her around and, in effect, function as his maid and servant. There are deep complexes going on that could be based upon her guilt for how she raised 'the kids' earlier in her life, especially because of her heavy unbridled drinking of alcohol, mainly beer. I know because I was right there by her drinking up a storm too!

I think I will goof around here for a bit, take a quick catnap, then head out to the SPCA Thrift Store. I do need to go get some of my clothes and stuff from Geri's but that sounds like a plan for next week. I am really relieved that I at least got enough brain cells in order to go to my Medical Appointment!

Sabbath, April 7, 2012
@7:36 PM ~ I need to check in here for today. It has been a pretty peaceful day, I appreciate not having any major personal problems in my life and a steady source of income via SSI and my Bi-Polar Diagnosis. I am in a small tiny room, but it's my room free of dope fiends and street hustlers. So much of our lives revolve around what kind of relationships we have in them, thus, we should be mindful and careful who we let into our little world, No matter what we do, some folks will speak negative about us. The ideal is to be a peace within our own Inner Self, seek to be in harmony with the Creator and continue to grow in spiritual wholistic realms.

@7:53 PM ~ I really love having my Desktop Computer here with me on the Internet. It has been a long time coming and I missed it like an old love. I used it a lot when I was at Globe Mills in what I now consider kind of a past life. For me now, having a computer of one kind or another is essential for me to do the work I need to do and to help me reach out to others.

Easter Sunday, April 8, 2012
@3:40 PM ~ I got up late this morning. I took a shower awhile ago. Brother Bobby came by earlier, but I was not ready for any unexpected company.  I have been appreciating more stuff on YouTube than I was able to before. It is a lot better here than only being at the local public library on WiFi on my old Dell Laptop. I need to finish dressing now.

Monday, April 9, 2012
@1:40 PM ~ I am still here in my little safe Sanctuary. We had a good CASA Meeting last night. It really does help to keep me going, give me a sense of purpose and reason for being when I help to facilitate a CASA 12-Steps Meeting. I am glad that a lot of the brothers who go to our CASA Meetings are from Salvation Army ARC (Adult Rehab Center). The  brothers who stay there are generally dedicated to their recovery, many of them are court-ordered to be there at Sally's by Zapata Park, though they seem to know that need for them to be able to get help and be involved in a self-help program such as the Salvation Army offers there. I walked home from the Meeting and it was a good quiet walk. I do some of my best thinking when I am walking the streets of Sacramento.

I posted a good Checking In post via a few of my Yahoo Groups earlier and it should of also gone to a few of my related Blogs.

I now need to go see about getting some blood-work done as requested to do so by the Molina Doctor.
Quest Diagnostics - Sacramento 5025 J St Ste 103 Sacramento CA 95819-3839

I pray I have a safe journey. The streets can get real sinister sometimes.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012
@9:30 AM ~ Yesterday I went to see about my bloodwork and took a urine test. It was simply enough. Then I went Safeway, saw Sister Brenda, then to Midtown Market and got a few items, then went by the new Goodwill Store  by 18th & L Streets. I try not to spend foolishly, besides I cannot afford to do so. I really have a problem with folks who are on SSI, basically getting Free Money from the government, then are usually broke shortly after the 1st of the month. Some folks just to no budget well or do not budget at all. Such a lack of financial management could be a part of the reason as to why one gets into dire financial straits.

We need to learn to take responsibility for ourselves, for our actions and not constantly try to shift the blame onto others. I have learned to appreciate the word 'responsibility' ~ having the ability to respond to connected reality and not shirking our personal responsibility.

It is a truism that the devil is in the details, sometimes one tiny detail. I have been having a few hassles logging into a couple of websites, then figured out it was because I had a '/' at the end of when I logged in. I need to learn to pay better attention to such details.

I am now into and listening Pandora Radio.

I really do not feel like going anywhere or doing anything beyond this room right now. For me it is not really a self-imposed isolation. It is more of a matter of focusing on my writing and stuff. Naturally my mind is more clear in the morning time than after a long time of wrestling with stuff in one way or another.

@2:40 PM ~ Just went for a walk out to my favorite little store on K Street, right around the corner. On the way there I was an old friend named Mike M. He is someone I have known for a long time, a former Black Panther and considers himself retired now. He said that Clent at De-Tox is shaking up the house there and that he has asked him about working there, but he declined. I use to work there long ago. I ended up getting released from employment there because of my own alcohol indulgence that resulted in my not getting around to showing up for work. It is grey and drizzling outside right now and not very inviting for a walk. I bought a pack  of boloney and a large Diet Pepsi and came back here.

It is sad how some folks are pain junkies, esp. when it comes to their personal relationships. Chicks hopping in and out of bed from one doomed relationship to the next, getting caught up in a junkie's life-style, making bad life decisions and having the nerve to wonder why life is not working out for them. To be fair, as a male I have done the same damn thing and do regret all the years I wasted and relationships with beautiful women I ruined because of my own negative indulgences in alcohol and other drugs. Thank God I am sane and sober today!

Wed. April 11, 2012
@2:02 PM ~ It has been a quiet day here. I really appreciate having the time and situation to be here on the Internet without dumb distractions around here. Just alone here in my little room. Sometimes people just get on my nerves and generally have nothing useful to say to me. I do not want to come off as being arrogant here. It is a reflection of my immediate environment here at the Shasta Hotel. It seems like most of the folks here are on SSI for one reason or another and I am not exception. Sometimes I hear strange sounds from a few of the other tenants. I generally keep to myself, avoid conflict and mind my own business unless it involves humane rights in general.

I am convinced that the world in which I live is quite utterly insane, esp. the upside down priorities of the U.S. Government. Billions are spend on foreign wars and bribing other foreign countries when we need to use those expenditures for humanitarian aid either overseas or here in our own backyards.

Time to to to Grocery Outlet. More later, I hope.

North Korea Revealed: A Rare Glimpse Inside Kim Jong-un's Secret Regime

@7:56 PM ~ Went to Grocery Outlet earlier. I am going to make it my main regular grocery store because of the cheap prices on foodstuff, plus it is right in the Midtown area where I use to live at. Now I am right in Downtown Sacramento where my little room is at. I can catch a Bus half block away, then get off by 18th & J Streets and walk a few blocks to Grocery Outlet.

I have been posting some heavy stuff today on Twitter, plus on Facebook. I have my Facebook Account set up to receive my Tweets from Twitter, BUTTTT a lot of my good Tweets never pop up on Facebook. I suspect that the owners of Facebook look at Twitter as the competition since they do not own it (at least not yet). Life is often coming up with one kind of surprise or another.

@9:40 ~ Went out for some fresh air earlier. It has been raining. Went out the front door when Sac PD Squad Car stopped a bit up the street to check out this club. Think the female officer had the key. I think. She went into the place. Around then I realized I did not have my wallet with me and got a little spooked. I walked cool to the corner up to J Street, made a left to cross the street, walked back towards this way on the other side of the street. Then there were a couple of Sac PD Bike Officers by the Coffee Shop outside who rode off after a bit. I imagine there was a little synchronicity going on. I had this strange Jew in Nazi Germany feeling. Here in Sacramento was have more different types and kinds of law enforcement types than about any other place on the West Coast, except for maybe LA and San Francisco. However, I am in Downtown Sacramento, the Capitol city of the Great State of California.

Thursday, April 12, 2012
@10:55 AM ~ It is another day in paradise. Here in my little room enjoying the solitude and peacefulness of being in my own little world.

There is an external world that obviously exists on its own independent of our recognition of it. We can feel it with our hands around us even with our eyes closed. Then, there is an internal world that exists within our own Inner Consciousness where we think, dream and make our home. For me, the ideal is to find a balance between the two realms of existence. I find that in remembering my beingness, that I am a being, not a frantic doing constantly being busy to fortify my reason for being. Being in our beingness is sufficient unto itself. Being fully in the present moment here now. Feeling our being alive, aware, not anxious about the next moment. Namaste!

@3:03  PM ~ We had a good Shasta Community Meeting earlier. There were  over 30 residents who were present and it covered basics to me. A lot involved being aware of and respecting others who live here, cleaning up after our  stuff and staying out of other people's business. It is cool for me because we only have a few people in the section where my room is at. Next door is a quiet sweet feeble lady who seems kind of fearful.  We get along and are polite to each other. The other week she offered some extra food she had, which was good, a burger with fries and some spaghetti and meat balls. In this section there are only about four people or so, not like the other floors. Thus, it is pretty mellow here and I greatly appreciate the mellowness.

In my long past I have been around a lot of noise, insane types and plenty of stupid stress. Now that I am older and wiser I realize that we ourselves, on an individual level, put so much stupid stress on ourselves, especially in relation to our personal relationships. Thus, there is a peace now in my being alone, single and unattached to any feline. I know circumstances change in time and space. However, I do want to have direct control over my own life situation as much as I can. I recognize we live in an insane and often inhumane world. We need to make the best of our life-situation, make it better for ourselve and not make it any worse than it already is. This is not complex brain surgery here!

@3:13 PM ~ I am going to Wholesale Grocery store now. I do need to get some Raisin Brain and see what other good sales they might have there today. Hasta luego!

Friday, April 13, 2012 

@9:47 AM ~ Here in my sanity alone now in my spacious room. I went to the Shasta N.A. Meeting earlier at 8 AM. It was a good meeting and well attended. My Brother Bobby was there, a Brother Frankie whom I have known since he was a youngster and others. When my turn came I spoke for a minute about the importance of studying, finishing high school if we have not, maybe going to junior college if we have finished high school and people continuing their education. Plus, the importance of literacy in general, especially the basics of reading and writng.

Good Movie online ~ The War On Democracy (English Subtitles)

Ignorance is a great enemy of the people. Thank God we have Internet Power and together we can help feed that ignorance with knowledge.

Saturday, April 14, 2012
@12:12 AM ~ I figured that since I am still up right now tht I might as well type  up a post here into this Sabbath post entry. I washed a samll bundle of clothes and ralised that I have some clothes missing.  It is a bit strange that I have such a small little room here, yet I can miss place stuff. I think  a few days when I last washed clothes that I simply got distracted and forgot to get my clothes out of the washer. I only have a few clothes now. I plan to go to the SPCA Thrift Store later today. Next week for sure I need to focus and go to Geri's place where I have the rest of my few clothes. Everything is relative. I use to have a lot of clothes and having clothes or not was not a biggie. Now that I have so few clothes I appreciate what I do have. Time for dreamland.

Sunday, April 15, 2012
@2:40 AM ~ What is technically yesterday went pretty well. Nothing eventful. I did create a new blog on Word Press for my new book called Progressive Recovery Now. We will see what we will see. There is a lot of stuff that I need to get off my chest, subject to criticism and further analyze. As usual, more will be revealed.

I went to the SPCA Thrift Store on Saturday in the early afternoon and got a few items. Really sleepy now, so Adios!

@5:19 PM ~ I woke up late, then I went to bed late. I need to get back into a regular sleeping pattern. So far it has been a cool day. Need to go to store for a few items. A lady friend here was very kind and gave me a couple of pots. Now I can make my favorite treat. hard boiled eggs! Someone stole her raw chicken from the pantry area here right across the hall from me. So we have a little  thief in the immediate area. This is a cause of some concern for me. Sometimes I leave my door ajar for a minute when I go to the Restroom. The Restroom up the hall itself was plugged for awhle with shit! I fixed it somewhat with the plunger and it is clean now. Still it flushes slowly. For the first time I used the Restroom upstairs to go #2. So that is my big post for now. Today is the last day for this particular post as tomorrow is the 16th and the 2nd half of the month. Nada mas ahora!

The Meaning of "Namaste" 

What does "Namaste" mean? My yoga teacher says it every week after our practice and I've always wanted to know. —Rita Geno

Aadil Palkhivala's reply: The gesture Namaste represents the belief that there is a Divine spark within each of us that is located in the heart chakra. The gesture is an acknowledgment of the soul in one by the soul in another. "Nama" means bow, "as" means I, and "te" means you. Therefore, Namaste literally means "bow me you" or "I bow to you."

To perform Namaste, we place the hands together at the heart charka, close the eyes, and bow the head. It can also be done by placing the hands together in front of the third eye, bowing the head, and then bringing the hands down to the heart. This is an especially deep form of respect. Although in the West the word "Namaste" is usually spoken in conjunction with the gesture, in India, it is understood that the gesture itself signifies Namaste, and therefore, it is unnecessary to say the word while bowing.

We bring the hands together at the heart chakra to increase the flow of Divine love. Bowing the head and closing the eyes helps the mind surrender to the Divine in the heart. One can do Namaste to oneself as a meditation technique to go deeper inside the heart chakra; when done with someone else, it is also a beautiful, albeit quick, meditation.

For a teacher and student, Namaste allows two individuals to come together energetically to a place of connection and timelessness, free from the bonds of ego-connection. If it is done with deep feeling in the heart and with the mind surrendered, a deep union of spirits can blossom.

Ideally, Namaste should be done both at the beginning and at the end of class. Usually, it is done at the end of class because the mind is less active and the energy in the room is more peaceful. The teacher initiates Namaste as a symbol of gratitude and respect toward her students and her own teachers and in return invites the students to connect with their lineage, thereby allowing the truth to flow—the truth that we are all one when we live from the heart.

Recognized as one of the world's top yoga teachers, Aadil Palkhivala began studying yoga at the age of seven with B.K.S. Iyengar and was introduced to Sri Aurobindo's yoga three years later. He received the Advanced Yoga Teacher's Certificate at the age of 22 and is the founder-director of internationally renowned Yoga Centers™ in Bellevue, Washington. Aadil is also a federally certified Naturopath, a certified Ayurvedic Health Science Practitioner, a clinical hypnotherapist, a certified Shiatsu and Swedish bodywork therapist, a lawyer, and an internationally sponsored public speaker on the mind-body-energy connection.

@7:14 PM ~ I called into Sally's and let Jason know that I was not going to be able to do the CASA Meeting this evening because I had other stuff to do. I mentioned that I hope if Kevin A. is around that he will do it.  At times it can be a drag doing a meeting and I often wonder what good it does. So many folks are stuck to the traditional A.A. approach to recovery and do not integrate their recovery with the collective struggle for liberation from all forms of oppression. I will do a little typing this evening on stuff.

@11:58 ~ Just a short entry before I  try to get some sleep. Did some good work, so much more for me to do I know, but I am just blessed that I can still do work that I pray will be of some importance to at least one soul in the world out there. I guess I am a little crazy, a wee bit mad. Nevertheless, I live my life the way I see it, the way I want it.
Tomorrow we will be going into the 2nd half of April. Nada mas ahora! ~ Che Peta


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