3-01-2009 @7:17 PM ~ Loneliness does not hold the horrors for me that is does to most ordinary folks. Loneliness has its own exquisite agony as it gives me the space-time to contemplate about life and my life among the living. In fact, I have learned so much about myself and my role in the cosmos when I have been alone in an existential sense, though I feel kindred spirits at special times and can even 'feel' the presence of the Awesome Creator, especially when I am engaged in the creative process of writing.
Peach and I have always had a strange relationship. You see some months back when she was still in her apartment she went to the store and over spent for groceries. She was not worried as she thought she would have the time to pay up on her SMUD Electricity bill, but she erred. Thus, her lights were shut off next door unexpectedly. She was given a Shut Off Notice before, but she called them and they said she was fine. So she tossed it and lo and behold her lights were shut off. She haggled with them. Finally I suggested she stay here with me, she moved her table and stuff here, then we decided she might as well just move in completely.
One thing leads to another. Then, I ended up proposing to her and the whole situation got more serious. We feel deeply in love with each other. In a way, I believe the Creator had a divine hand in the matter. As we got to know each other more and more small differences kept popping up, more and more minor misunderstanding happened and we ended up really being tense and uptight around each other.
Keep in mind that there is a bi-polar disorder involved and other matters that I myself really consider of a spiritual nature involving spiritual healing, not a mental disorder alone or a mere learning disabiiity. We are ultimately spiritual beings living inside physical bodies and when we include the mind into the mix and us ultimately being multi-dimensional entities it gets deep.
So for now we are really taking it one day at a time. I cannot get married to anyone right now in a legal sense because I am already technically married from my fake marriage to that gal when I was at Mather Community Campus. Recall?
Anyways, I do not have the time, energy or inclination to make another woman happy the way she would want because I am not willing to commit the time, energy and emphasis that I suppose a real marriage would entail. In a way, I am married to the Movement!
I have a larger global humane rights agenda that I concentrate on. When all is said and done I want to have a major impact on connected reality, preferably on a global scale as I have already had one on many on the local level, then there is the quantum dimension. As I said, it gets deep.
Anyway, I had a nice wet walk earlier. Peach and I went to the tore to get her some smokes, then we parted company, she came back here to her place and I walked on to the SPCA thrift store and got a few things, including a Autumnish strip of rug for the entrance to my great Command Center at the Lopez Sanctuary.
I went over sometime after and asked her if she was hungry. She as a little embarrassed and said that she was. I told her not to be silly. Anyways, she is the usual meal preparer for she cooked up some chorizo and eggs, tortilias, chili and just made dinner for the both of us.
I am going to not go to school tomorrow because of my cruel cold and am contagious to others. However, I do plan to go to work tomorrow but it will only be for four hours and it is going to be the 2nd of March. What does that mean at work? That means there will be some roll-ups to attend to and appeals for those clients who missed curfew etc. etc. Mondays are probably the worst days there in terms of coping with our clients. Plus, I have my A-Dorm Meeting in the morning at 9 AM that I conduct.
I have a cold right now that I am fighting off and I am a bit weary. I asked a friend named Corey B. to do the CASA 12-Steps Meeting this evening and he accepted the challenge.
So Peach left back home earlier to her new old place. Strange I know. She is still a sweetheart, though I have learned to keep a kind of spiritual distance from her for my own self-preservation in heartfelt matters. Insanity has many forms and comes in various packets. Bear in mind that I consider the present status quo in this sorry excuse for a civilization as evidence of govermental and social insanity. So go figure!
Well, I do not want to ramble on and on about it. Due to circumstances beyond my control I have learned to take life one day at a time with a vision for the future.
I will Cc: this to my friend and cyber-sponsor Dr. Linda ETAL. I often fail to life up to other people's expectations of me, but ultimately it is all between the Creator and myself. As long as I am cool with Him!!!
I know at times I may seem as if I can get so scatter-brained but I am often bombarded by people, tasks, ideas and other stuff during this breathing in-and-out business we call living life on life's terms ~ striving to stay ready for whatever may come.
From: Michelle <shellyi2005@yahoo.com.au>
To: Peter S. Lopez <peter.lopez51@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 3:08:43 PM
Subject: Re: Real: Sometimes in late Winter...
Peach and I have always had a strange relationship. You see some months back when she was still in her apartment she went to the store and over spent for groceries. She was not worried as she thought she would have the time to pay up on her SMUD Electricity bill, but she erred. Thus, her lights were shut off next door unexpectedly. She was given a Shut Off Notice before, but she called them and they said she was fine. So she tossed it and lo and behold her lights were shut off. She haggled with them. Finally I suggested she stay here with me, she moved her table and stuff here, then we decided she might as well just move in completely.
One thing leads to another. Then, I ended up proposing to her and the whole situation got more serious. We feel deeply in love with each other. In a way, I believe the Creator had a divine hand in the matter. As we got to know each other more and more small differences kept popping up, more and more minor misunderstanding happened and we ended up really being tense and uptight around each other.
Keep in mind that there is a bi-polar disorder involved and other matters that I myself really consider of a spiritual nature involving spiritual healing, not a mental disorder alone or a mere learning disabiiity. We are ultimately spiritual beings living inside physical bodies and when we include the mind into the mix and us ultimately being multi-dimensional entities it gets deep.
So for now we are really taking it one day at a time. I cannot get married to anyone right now in a legal sense because I am already technically married from my fake marriage to that gal when I was at Mather Community Campus. Recall?
Anyways, I do not have the time, energy or inclination to make another woman happy the way she would want because I am not willing to commit the time, energy and emphasis that I suppose a real marriage would entail. In a way, I am married to the Movement!
I have a larger global humane rights agenda that I concentrate on. When all is said and done I want to have a major impact on connected reality, preferably on a global scale as I have already had one on many on the local level, then there is the quantum dimension. As I said, it gets deep.
Anyway, I had a nice wet walk earlier. Peach and I went to the tore to get her some smokes, then we parted company, she came back here to her place and I walked on to the SPCA thrift store and got a few things, including a Autumnish strip of rug for the entrance to my great Command Center at the Lopez Sanctuary.
I went over sometime after and asked her if she was hungry. She as a little embarrassed and said that she was. I told her not to be silly. Anyways, she is the usual meal preparer for she cooked up some chorizo and eggs, tortilias, chili and just made dinner for the both of us.
I am going to not go to school tomorrow because of my cruel cold and am contagious to others. However, I do plan to go to work tomorrow but it will only be for four hours and it is going to be the 2nd of March. What does that mean at work? That means there will be some roll-ups to attend to and appeals for those clients who missed curfew etc. etc. Mondays are probably the worst days there in terms of coping with our clients. Plus, I have my A-Dorm Meeting in the morning at 9 AM that I conduct.
I have a cold right now that I am fighting off and I am a bit weary. I asked a friend named Corey B. to do the CASA 12-Steps Meeting this evening and he accepted the challenge.
So Peach left back home earlier to her new old place. Strange I know. She is still a sweetheart, though I have learned to keep a kind of spiritual distance from her for my own self-preservation in heartfelt matters. Insanity has many forms and comes in various packets. Bear in mind that I consider the present status quo in this sorry excuse for a civilization as evidence of govermental and social insanity. So go figure!
Well, I do not want to ramble on and on about it. Due to circumstances beyond my control I have learned to take life one day at a time with a vision for the future.
I will Cc: this to my friend and cyber-sponsor Dr. Linda ETAL. I often fail to life up to other people's expectations of me, but ultimately it is all between the Creator and myself. As long as I am cool with Him!!!
I know at times I may seem as if I can get so scatter-brained but I am often bombarded by people, tasks, ideas and other stuff during this breathing in-and-out business we call living life on life's terms ~ striving to stay ready for whatever may come.
Fragile: by Sting
If blood will flow when fresh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrows rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay
Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetimes argument
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are
On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are
On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Education for Liberation! Join Up!
Peter S. Lopez aka: Peta
Email: peter.lopez51@yahoo.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Humane-Rights-Agenda/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/THIRD-WORLD-NEWS/
From: Michelle <shellyi2005@yahoo.com.au>
To: Peter S. Lopez <peter.lopez51@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 3:08:43 PM
Subject: Re: Real: Sometimes in late Winter...
| You wont be alone long your are a charmer !
Enjoy your walk... shell 
--- On Mon, 2/3/09, Peter S. Lopez <peter.lopez51@yahoo.com> wrote:
|
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