Sometimes in late Winter I get SAD...

3-2-2009 @6:30 AM ~ Gracias for your wise advice, as usual. It already helped to lift my spirits. Yeah, i think the pressure was with the marriage idea. Why do women always want to get married to prove the solvent validity of a intimate relationship ? If it ain't broke don't fix it. I am not into the sex hunt game because I know what dangers and troubles that can have. I am older now and on a good day more wiser and generally governed by my mind and guided by my spirit, not my cock!

A lot of it has to do with spiritual damage that happened to her that came up out of her past relationship with this jerk boyfriend she was with for about five years. She claims that he turned out to be a homosexual and that came out after the intiial few months they were together in a drunken spree. She herself considers herself as being in recovery from the years of being a prescription junkie. So it gets hairier.

I have a tendency to be critical minded, speak my truth as I know it and have a tendency to speak out loud to people that I am suppose to trust. I think it is better for her to have her own place with her little Chihuahua Sammy. Sometimes she would remind me of a Martha Stewart in tems of stuff has to be so so. Then she was irked because I did not see about my divorce from the former wench I married half-cocked at Mather. The truth is that I do not believe one woman can satisfy me. I wrote an article about Love at FIrst Sight for my Psych Class and she blew the roof about it when I shared, though I got great positive feedback from my teacher. I cannot stay with a woman who is going to even attempt to edit my writing. That would be truly insane!

In it I wrote:

"Sometimes in our present intimate relationship we must work out core issues that we have not worked out before in previous relationships. These core issues often involve our own inner self on an individual basis, not 'the other'. For example, core issues such as insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness that have not been fully resolved can come up. How can one humane being consider another humane being as theirs and own them like property? On an ideal level we should each strive to be independent in our inner self-esteem though admitting the validity of our ultimate interdependency for mutual successful survival.

I think it is the ideal of permanency that I am not fully comfortable with as that would entail a lifelong marriage and having one individual lover being capable of fulfilling all the desires I want involving intimacy. I think people expect too much from only one intimate relationship that could not fulfill the drives of a complex multi-faceted humane being such as I."

I think that SAD is another factor and it has been foul weather of late here in Sacramento, but sometimes we have to keep the sunlight of the spirit within us!

What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

http://www.medicinenet.com/seasonal_affective_disorder_sad/article.htm

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/seasonal-affective-disorder/DS00195

Fortunately I only work a half day today. I am still feeling down with a cold. Today I will be at Sally's from 7:30 AM to 11:30 AM. Plus, I am not going to school afterwards in the afternoon because I do not feel well. I will study here at home for next Wednesday. I work half days on Mondays and Wednesdays. I told Peach I would see about getting dinner, maybe fried chicken. She cannot shop good for me as she generally overdoes it and spends too much. I have tried. I might end up sending her and take my losses. I guess it is good to keep a sunlight handy!

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Peter S. Lopez aka: Peta
Email: peter.lopez51@yahoo.com

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From: Linda Whittaker <olsvig2000@yahoo.com>
To: Peter S. Lopez <peter.lopez51@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 9:26:52 PM
Subject: Re: Really: Sometimes in late Winter on a cold night..