Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Carol's Place Journal: Septiembre 2011 via @Peta_de_Aztlan


Thursday, Septiembre 01, 2011

It is now the 1st of Septiembre AKA September. Even since '911' September has been a different month for many Amerikans, there seems to be more of an air of nervous excitement and more conscious awareness of how fragile life can be despite our efforts to keep it safe, sound and relatively sane.

I am still at Carol's Place pictured above. I am still in the same room as before. My roommate Lee left today to another spot. I wish him well. I am curious how and who my new roommate will be. I am pretty compatible with most people. Over the years I have learned to be accepting and non-judgmental towards people, as I hope they are towards me.

I was going to move to Room #3 in the corner house, but instead the powers-that-be are going to put a physically handicap guy there. I was kind of disappointed, especially as I had my stuff pretty well ready to move. So I had to unpack. swept the room and made my bed. At least I still have my shared room with a view, though I would prefer to have my own room without the distraction of someone else being in the room with me. I myself must learn to share.

I talked to my friend/sponsor Mike K. last night. He injured himself in the left foot but he can still drive. Today is Recovery Happens at the State Capitol. Now I am at the Sacra Central Library, my power spot for now. Time for posting on Twitter.

I want to spend a lot of my time this month focusing on writing stuff. I will try to avoid dumb distractions.

@9:00 PM ~ At Carol’s Place. Carol was either the benefactor that got this place and/or the first client here named Carol.

It seems that I will be spending the night in this room alone. The first time in a few months that I will do so since I moved out of Globe Mills on May 24 and entered the Emergency Shelter at VOA ‘A’ Street on May 25. Now I am here at Carol’s Place. So I have now been in the shelter matrix for a bit over three months. It is quite an experience that I would recommend to most folks. It gives you a better feel for how you can cope in a sheltered situation along with other folks. It definitely teaches you patience, tolerance and understanding. Plus, it gives one a good idea of how they can adjust in settings far different from the privacy of being in one’s own home sanctuary. WE learn, yes we learn or we burn!

Think I will sleep in the raw for once. Plan to go to DRA Meeting at Guest House tomorrow at 9 AM. I should be up early tomorrow morning.

I pray all my loved ones are well. I pray for all the abandoned refugees who are lost in the streets tonight cold and hungry with no place to rest their weary head. I pray for all those who feel that no one prays for them. I pray for all who feel they are the loneliest people on Mother Earth. Buenas Noches!

Friday, September 02, 2011
@11:04 AM ~ Slept well last night at 'home'. Here Now @Sacra Central Library. We got a new resident at Carol's Place and I welcomed him saying that it is a good place to be. I know I was a bit nervous when I first arrived but I have become comfortable there, though not fully content. Life goes on. It is a matter of us being able to adjust to new settings and new situations. We are not fully prepared for what is a new situation. The ideal is to have an attitude of gratitude.

Saturday, September 03, 2011
@10:56 PM ~ I am at Sacra Central Library on 4th Floor. I have a new roommate named Michael who is a good man. I met him briefly before when he came by here from Turning Point.


Sharing is caring. Many people are afraid to share. It is a truism that in a way we are as sick as our secrets, especially the ones we keep from our own conscious minds that dwell in our own subconscious. Feel a little restless today.

@5:57 ~ Surprise! Good News! I received an SSI Check for $830.00 in my name of PETER S. Lopez from the U.S. Treasury in the U.S. Mail here today. Cindy, the Asian-American Monitor here, called me into the office to let me know, so I opened it right there. She mentioned that it might be a presumptive check. I need to talk to our Administrator Mattie this coming Monday. The does change the whole game plan for me. For sure I am going to cash it Monday, then get my Mobile Phone re-activated. Hell, I might even get a cheap Timex watch!

I need to confirm for sure whether I am on SSI or not next week. If so I will need to make a plan of action for moving out of here into a small simple room with a view.

Now we are set to have a Mental Health Meeting here, next door. More will be revealed!

@6:46 PM ~ The Mental Health Meeting went well. We actually had a dish in the center with good candles burning and the light off. This is done once a month, but residents here at not allow to have candles burning in their own rooms because of a fire hazard. Keep in mind that we are all on one kind of medication or another. Myself I only take 50 mg. of Seroquel at 9 PM before I go to bed. Get fed, take a med and bed!

@10:16 PM ~ I had a good day with good news. I will try to confine myself to my own inner self here and avoid going into too much stuff in the outer world outside of my own individual consciousness. I already post a lot of news items via Twitter and Facebook in order to give others the option to find out what the hell is exactly going on in the world. I am convinced that much of the work to be done amongst us as a species of life is internal work, an inside job, on-going efforts at understanding ourselves in order to better understand others. We really are one family as a species of life upon Mother Earth. Let us strive to be a humane family, a family that has love, care and concern for all of us. Cherish the sanctity of life. Nada mas ahora!

Sunday, Septiembre 04, 2011
Yesterday I went to the SNAHC Sobriety Celebration. It was good to be there and celebrate the growing sobriety of the native population AKA Native-American. I am still not buying into the American term in light of the historical genocide. I know I should maybe get over it, but not when some folks fake  as if we are all one big happy family in connected reality when we are not!

This afternoon I went to the Farmworkers Rally for the UFW at the Capitol and took some pictures. It was great just seeing all the beautiful people of La Raza Cosmica!

Am now at Sacra Central Library via their WiFi, but due to available outlets where I would be comfortable am not even plugged into the wall, using battery on DELL Laptop. Guess I will just do some Tweeting now. Library closes at 5 PM today.

Monday, September 05, 2011
Someone has to finish last in the class. ~ Michael’s Dad.

@4:40 PM ~ @Carol’s Place. It has been a nice day, so far. Woke up early, took a shower, had my coffee, did some clean up work around here for a little exercise, had a bowl of Raisin Bran and a turkey sandwich with wheat bread and just hung around. I was out of rolling papers so I got my change, then Co-Residents Mike and Craig and I went to the Southside Market. Those two had never been to Southside Park before. I showed them the status there of Hidalgo and the great mural. I felt good being able to share the experience of a simple walk through the park to the little store on the corner.

Sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget the simple pleasures of simple experiences.

My DELL Laptop is charged up so it work without being plugged in. I had never done this before. Having the capability is a good feeling.

I now understand more of what C.J. Jung talked about in terms of feeling-tone. Another way of expressing feeling-tone would be ‘vibes’. In a way those of us who took psychedelics in late 60s had a better understanding of some stuff in life. Some of it we lost contact as we grew older, especially those of us who got caught up in the dramas and traumas of drug addiction.

When we walk by a person we feel certain feelings that come from the vibes of that person and our inner feelings to those vibes, especially it seem with those who have more of a EM-field compared to others. EM= Electro-Magnetic. Many times we are not sensitive to people’s fields or auras and misunderstanding can result or little prejudices easily arise.

The ideal would be to be in conscious awareness of our inner being, our own spiritualness. Many are not able to practice no-mindedness and are always suffering from the antics of the ‘monkey-mind’ that is constantly jumping around inside the cage of the brain. We need to explore more the connections and interconnections between the brain and the mind. Are the brain and the mind the same? Are we not more than our physical bodies? Are we not always being even if we are not aware of our beingness?

@7:15 PM ~ We had a good Labor Day Dinner here of shish-kebab, mashes pototaoes and cooked vegetables. It has been a pleasant day. Called a few folks on the phone: Dad, Geri and Bobby. I told my Dad that I wanted to see him soon, thisweek or the next and that I missed seeing him, he felt the same way. It has taken him so long for him to express his affection, yet I have learned so much about true affection from him.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Now at Sacra Central Library safe and sound. Woke up, talked to Maddie at Carol's Place about my receiving the SSI Check and stuff. She gave me the go ahead to cash it, I am OK to stay there as a resident for now and may have to start paying regular rent come October. Went up to K Street Mall Bank of America, cashed it, bought two pouches of Bugler Gold for my roommate and I, had a burrito and got a Pepsi.

On the Mall had a conversation with a former client who called himself Junebug, strange Puerto Rican cat. He mentioned about need for me to stay tied up with my laptop for it not to be snatched up by a cat who can run off with it. It was a strange exchange. I was concerned about his 'housing situation' and recommended White City for him to go to since he is a vet. I must be aware that sometimes those we want to help can hurt us.

I finally got a new Metro PCS Mobile Phone, not an Android but one that is functional for my purposes.

Talking to Maddie and Mark T. this morning I mentioned that for now I just want to take my time and figure out a cohesive Plan of Action for the future. More importantly right now if my taking the time to pay attention, to work on my mental health and to continue to concentrate on my spiritual evolution.

Wednesday, Septiembre 07, 2011
@2:11 PM ~ I woke up early as usual, but I woke up in the middle of the night started tripping looking for my room key and became wide awake. I am a little sleepy now. Have been tweaking with my new Mobile Phone. I need to make sure it does not become another major distraction.

I got more U.S. Mail from SSI today about my getting so much $$$ a month for up to six months until a final (decisive?) determination is made. Plus, stuff from them for me to choose a Medical Plan. From what Maddie says I will have a Medical Plan or Coverage come what may. I do not really understand it completely. Being a bit sleep deprived I do not want to even try to wrap my mind around it until tomorrow.

I really get distracted easy, sometimes easier than at other times. Suspect it depends a lot upon my general state-of-being, esp. well-being. There are a few extremely beautiful female beings who are in my vicinity right now here at Sacra Central Library. I must learn how to better focus, pay attention and concentrate on the tasks at hand, not just fantasizing, though some females do stimulate my fantasies. ;->

Tomorrow is a Safeground Meeting. I am not sure how well our Jubilee will come out. Besides, I want to see it all connected with a basic humane rights agenda. Who listens to me? I will just keep loving as much as I can.

Thursday, Septiembre 8th of 2011
@12:53 PM ~ @Sacra Public Library ~Sharing is caring. This Blog is my Public Journal online where I am pretty much open, go with the flow and kind of check in with myself. I may be as risk of self-exposure that could backfire against me. However, I am convinced that in many ways we are as sick as our secrets. Some people have forgotten their secrets and are sick without even really remembering what could be haunting them on a subconscious level.

Yesterday evening @Carol's Place I put air in my SCHWINN and drove around the block with it before I turned back into the driveway. Ooops! When I stopped I somehow fell off my bike onto my ass before I had a chance to get off, now I must admit that my lower back is sore. A couple of folks there saw me fall onto my ass, I was kind of embarrassed but suffered no major harm. I need to be more mindful, more consciously aware. I was already suffering from sleep deprivation, was going to get a nap, but has been procrastinating about putting air in my bike from my cool air pump so I got it done. I am older now, becoming more fragile. I just pray that I heal OK soon. Now I am really trying to stay aware of all my body moments. In life, every error and mistake on our part can be a teaching point on the learning curve.

We had a great Safeground Meeting at Cat's house. Her husband Mark Merin is the Lawyer and Advocate for @SafeGroundSac and his lovely enlightened wife 'Cat' is our Coordinator. We have been having morning meetings at their house for quite a while now. We had our last Thursday morning meeting today before the upcoming Safeground Jubilee.

Safeground Jubilee poster

Recall: Mark Merin: Fighting For Their Rights -January 2010 - Sacramento, California >

Mark Merin

~ Mark Merin ~

As usual, I have my spins on stuff in terms of how we could of done better so far, where there are areas for improvement and what is to be done in the future. However, considering what and who we are working with we have done fantastic! It is hard to work with people who are not getting any monetary rewards for their hard honest work yet are suffering in their personal lives in real ways, especially when they are actually spending time and sleeping on Safeground.

When we are working with poor people we need to take into consideration different educational levels and individual attributes. We should try to foster a strong working unity as a social group while also allowing each person their individual integrity. Then, each of us has our own personal experiences, especially in relation to Social Movements and Social Networks.  At bottom I want to see a strong humane rights movement here in Sacramento with an array of community-based organizations, functional agencies and committed individuals who can work together, despite any particular difference's. We need to see each other as precious sacred members of the human family.

There was a time when I was seriously considering needing to go Safeground and stay until another alternative came up. I have been approved for SSI on a 'presumptive basis' for up to six months. However, I am still awaiting Final Determination. Shit happens! I mean, life happens.

Friday, September 09, 2011
@3:02 PM ~My Roommate Michael and I went to my favorite thrift store in the world: the  SPCA Thrift Store by 15th & E Streets. I got a couple of good books, Mike bought some cool stuff and then we left. Afterwards we went to the corner store and had a smoke. I mentioned a shirt that I had wanted to buy but did not get to Mike. He said he was in no hurry. So we went back into the store. I changed shirts and put my new one on and hung my keys on the hook in the Dressing Room. I ended up buying a cool light brown pull-over shirt, but mistakenly left my Carol's Place keys in the Dressing Room. I did not flash on it until we were already on the Light Rail headed more into Downtown. I had to get off on the next stop and Mike went on. I walked back to the SPCA Thrift Store and a sister I had met there had already turn them in. My main keys now are my room key, my Lunch Mailbox key where I keep my medication in the Carol's Place office, my bike lock key and another one I had for a chain that I have since given away (which reminds me I need to ask Shaka about the lock for that one). So I guess the moral of the story is all is well that ends well. However, the episode was another reminder of my having traces of ADHD and the importance of being aware of my physical actions. One must remain consciously aware in life, especially out in sinister streets.


Need to work on this one more... maybe a lot?!?

Astrology: Planet Jupiter Goes Retrograde > ~

Astrology Blog: Settling Down or Just Settling? Saturn in Libra by Maria DeSimone > ~

Preparing with Insight: Astrology and 9/11

How Astrology can teach us all to act as first responders

@5:40 PM ~Well I had fun here today being online at the Sacra Central Library. There is kind of a safety zone being here. People know that if you blow it at the library then you are pretty sad and bad. Got to go now. SO much to read and write.

Monday, Septiembre 12, 2011

As I am sure all of the United States of Amerika is aware of, yesterday was the 10th Anniversary of the 911 tragedy in Washington D.C. etc. In all this remembering many have forgotten about the  911 when President Allende of Chile was overthrown by a CIA-engineered military coup.

Yesterday was Sunday and as usual I functioned as the Secretary for the CASA 12-Steps Meeting @7 PM at Sally's.

@2:50 PM ~ I am now ow @ShineSacramento on my Dell Lap.

1st time here, good to have a few bucks on me. Aware! Alive! Funny, I use to have my office here at the Shine Cafe Shop back around 1969-70 when I was a Youth Organizer in the War On Poverty program. Of course, so much has changed since those days, yet, it is true that so much does remain the same. We get older but not necessarily wiser.

Life at Carol's Place goes on one day at a time. At this point I figure I will need to stay also through October, then if nothing else breaks through I will possibly move on in November. I have not been told for sure fore sure whether I will have to pay CASH for next month or not. I suspect I will have to do so. I need to just continue to work my program. Carol's Place for me now is a six month program at maximum. I am not hot about going to Palmer's Place, where some folks go from Carol's Place. I am just enjoying this moment, this here now. Time go move on from here for now. It is a good atmosphere. Nada mas ahora! ~Che Peta

Tuesday, Septiembre 13th of 2011
As of July 5th I owe PG&E $48.46. I am glad it is not more now. Guess I am kind of trying to straighten out my utilities bills.

Cool. No Payment Due for SMUD. Am not sure how that played out. Must of snatched it out of my Deposit. I hate bills for utilities, a necessary evil.

Cannot access my Comcast Account online right now to check my bill. They were usually a hassle to reach online. I will have to call them between here and death.
Meanwhile, life goes on at Carol's Place. A few folks left, a few folks came in. It can be quite an interesting place, especially for me to learn more about an aspect of the whole homeless-refugee matrix that I never personally experienced as a client/resident before. Some folks have different ways of putting up their defense mechanisms, establishing borders and manifesting forms of resistance to revelation, especially inner revelation.

Iranian artist’s works among “Gifts of Sultan” in U.S.


I just thought the above was colorful and interesting so I am posting it here. Art comes in many forms.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011
@2:55 PM ~ Am not at Central Library. The Safeground Jubilee is suppose to start around 3 PM. I am right across the street with stuff I want to do here now. I am not scheduled to speak so I am not tripping. These last few days I have hardly been getting any sleep at night and I am about out of my medication of 50mg of Seroquel. Left Messages with my Service Coordination Lisa at Guesthouse with no definite response. As usual it is my fault for not seeing about it before. I get so involved and wrapped up in the moment that sometimes I neglect stuff I should be mindful of in my life. Sometimes I get scattered. I just ordered In the Realm of Hungry Ghost by Gabor Mate via to go to my address at Carol's Place. I am looking forward to reading and studying it, plus others by Senor Mate.
@3:07 PM ~Just saw Brother Clifton, he tapped me on my left shoulder and is here with his laptop. I can see him from where I sit. I will sneak a picture, then Email it to him later. Yeah, it is a little sneaky. We live in a strange, dangerous and mysterious world where a lot of sneaky events happen. Deal with it!

Thursday, May 15, 2011

@2:50 PM ~ We had a great Safeground Jubilee yesterday at Cesar Chavez Plaza, but much remains to be done. The struggle goes on, we need to build up a strong humane rights movement here in Sacramento to address an array of humane concerns. Our basic survival needs remain the same: food, clothing, shelter, medical care and quality education.

Article From today's Sacramento Bee:
Sacramento homeless still await campground

Published Thursday, Sep. 15, 2011

After two years of lawsuits, meetings and negotiations, Sacramento's homeless appear no closer to finding a legal place to sleep outdoors. Despite political pledges to identify a piece of property where homeless people could live in movable cottages with basic services, discussions with city officials have so far proved fruitless. Campers won a partial constitutional victory in federal court in May, but little has changed in the city's enforcement of an ordinance against sleeping in undesignated places for longer than 24 hours.

Now, with subtle hints of autumn in the air, homeless people are facing the prospect of having no indoor shelter during cold and rainy winter nights. For the first time in memory, the budget-strapped county has no money for a seasonal shelter program.

On Wednesday afternoon, more than 100 homeless men and women and their advocates marched from the Loaves & Fishes complex on North C Street to Cesar Chavez Plaza across from City Hall to highlight their cause. They rode bicycles, pushed carts and walked dogs, carrying signs that read "No More Citations" and "Give us SafeGround."

"People need to understand what SafeGround means," said Jeannie Williams, 62, who is homeless and serves as an elder in the movement. "It's not a bunch of druggies and lowlifes and scum. It's every walk of life you can think of."

Mark Merin, a Sacramento attorney who represents the homeless, said advocates "are at a stalemate" over identifying a site for a SafeGround community that would provide temporary shelter and basic services such as garbage pickup and bathrooms.They looked at private property across from the Campbell's Soup plant in south Sacramento, he said, but determined it would be too expensive to purchase and develop. A city committee has rejected several other sites, Merin said. "This is a big political headache and heartache," he said.

Cassandra Jennings, a former assistant city manager who has worked with homeless advocates on the issue, said the city properties identified by Merin's group as potential SafeGround sites have had zoning, environmental and safety concerns. None of the sites has been vetted to City Council members, so neighborhood concerns have yet to be heard, she said.
The city remains open to exploring locations, said Jennings, now with the Sacramento Housing and Redevelopment Agency. "If we had the perfect site, we would be the first to bring it to the table," she said. "But it's not that easy."

Mayor Kevin Johnson has led an effort to find permanent housing for more than 2,000 people through his Sacramento Steps Forward initiative, and has said he is open to the idea of a SafeGround. But he and other supporters have been unable to push the issue through the political process, said Merin and others.

"No one is more frustrated than the mayor by the lack of progress on SafeGround," said Kunal Merchant, Johnson's chief of staff. City Councilman Jay Schenirer told a cheering crowd at the downtown park on Wednesday that "by the time the weather changes, we will have a place for you to be." He offered no details, however.

A recent census counted about 2,300 people living in shelters and on the streets in Sacramento County, a 16 percent drop since 2009. Despite the progress, a group of more than 100 homeless people continues to camp outdoors and generate controversy. Homeless plaintiffs had hoped that their partial victory in federal court in May would expedite establishment of a SafeGround.
In the suit, they claimed that city police violated their constitutional rights by grabbing their property during raids and throwing it away without giving them a chance to retrieve it.

A jury found that the city failed to properly notify homeless people about how to retrieve their possessions, and to implement policies for handling that property. It rejected several other claims.
Senior Deputy City Attorney Chance Trimm said Wednesday that the city will appeal the federal court verdict to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeal. The city does not believe that police committed constitutional violations in their interactions with the homeless, he said.

Meanwhile the county, which in past years spent up to $700,000 on its winter shelter program at Cal Expo, has said no money will be available this year. Last year, amid budget woes, the county came up with $150,000 to pay for shelter beds.

"We are very concerned," said Christie Holderegger of Volunteers of America. "There is a huge need."

VOA, which in the past has coordinated winter shelter operations for the county, is soliciting funds for a "nomadic shelter" program in which homeless people are housed in churches and other houses of worship. Last winter, in the program's first year, 18 faith communities housed 80 to 100 people each night.

© Copyright The Sacramento Bee. All rights reserved.


Joseph Short rests on the lawn at Cesar Chavez Plaza as advocates of a SafeGround campsite march past Wednesday. Mayor Kevin Johnson backs a spot for the homeless, but no property has been selected and the City Council is not considering a site.

Plus we had a great TLCS Picnic today. Life is getting better for me. Blessings, Che Peta

Viernes, Diez y Seis de Septiembre
@3:58 PM ~ I am not at Sacra Central Library. I am considering going to school next Semester at City  College, though am not sure I will swing it or not now. My life is kind of at a transition stage right now. I am still awaiting my Final Determination in relation to SSI.

I am more aware these days of my moods. I still have often distracted by what I consider to be ADHD. I need to be aware of my own rationalizations about it all.

Sabbath, September 17, 2011
@12:05 PM ~ For me, the idea of my even being online is to check stuff out, scan the news, visit favorite websites and to essentially share with others.

Life at Carol's Place goes pretty well. I myself have no problem staying sober, have learned to appreciate having a sober mind and only take 50mg of Seroquel at night to help me sleep. At times I have been the victim of insomnia. I usually sleep with a red bandana around my eyes to help keep me asleep. When I turn I will turn around or turn over, my eyes open momentarily, I see stuff in the room I am sleeping, then the old noodles start to cooking. I know that sleep is an essential element of one's well-being. Next Monday I need to go to Guest House and pick up my medication.

I have found that folks need to take care of their own business, be mindful of their own business and not constantly do the personal inventory of other folks. So much of life for me involves learning how to live and let live, learning how to live with others. Just glance at all the lousy relationships people get themselves caught up in, never learning from previous failures.

Lunes, Septiembre 19, 2011
@12:22 PM ~ Now at The Temple downtown having a few cups of coffee. Tata just left. I am feeling pretty good, at little restless but OK in general. I had to buy another Mobile Phone today. I got it on Special and got a great deal. My other one 'mysteriously disappeared' after I left it without thinking in the upstairs bathroom at Carol's Place. I have a prime suspect but no proof or evidence. Anyways, I had to pray to forgive my offender as I have been forgiven of my offenses to others in the past.

Many times I think we mainly hurt the ones who are the most close to us, especially when we are lost and insane in our chemical addictions. Sometimes I wonder, did we ever lose stuff in our own addictions or did we really give them away. Nada mas ahora!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

@1:41 PM ~ Here at the McClatchy Library where I use to come as a child. I feel a lot of good feelings here. So much has changed over the many years since my childhood. I still have that little child in me at times, still wondering, still observing, still checking stuff out.

I did not sleep well last night. I did not take any of my medication of 50mg Seroquel. I am a bit sleep deprived right now and hope to sleep well tonight. As usual, I am glad to be doing as well as I am.

Wednesday, September 21, 2001
@10:22 AM ~ I am now at Sacra Central Library, one of my power spots. I got my new book I ordered from In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Dr. Gabor Mate. I know it will be a fascinating read. My two Brothers, both of whom are called Mike, are here at the Library with me. It is good when Carol's Place people go out on an informal field trip together. Plus, my former 'bunky' from VOA 'A' Street Shelter came into Carol's Place this morning right by my room. I am on the top 2nd floor facing the street at Carol's Place in the hour next to the corner. The main house where the office is located is actually in the corner house and we are right next to it in an d adjacent house next door.

My medication is ready at Guest House and plan to go pick them up this Friday. I have what I need to get by and use mindfulness to help me in my day-to-day struggles.

Thursday, Septiembre 22, 2011

@1:19 PM ~ This damn fuckin' Dell Computer keeps freezing on me, at least once when I first get online and I lose stuff. It is this computer, not the Internet system here. Ahh, the frustrations I have had over the years with stuff online. It definitely has taught me more patience, though I am pretty good with keeping my patience. I use to first type up stuff in a document then transfer it here, but I am trying to avoid unnecessary extra steps. Guess I will save my blogposts here more often to avoid losing stuff.

I called and talked to Nick with Genesis and have scheduled my appointments with him for counseling to every Wednesday at 10:30 AM. I think I need to keep seeing him, at least until I get a Final Determination on my SSI Claim. Plus, he is good to talk to, he hears me out and gives me feedback. I believe he enjoys our short conversations too. They are set up to be only a half an hour long, though usually we go a little bit longer.

The situation at Carol's Place goes on one day at a time. Another Brother named Virgil is a new resident there. He was my bunkie who slept across from me when I was at the VOA 'A' Street Shelter. He is Filipino and a real cool cat.

I need to use a little thoughtful discretion here in these posts, especially in relation to the other clients, BUTTT I want to record some of the thoughts and impressions I have for my own self-understanding. Plus, hopefully to help increase the understanding of others who may happen to click upon this blog.

I am further into the homeless refugee matrix than I have ever been. I am getting a first-hand look at the general situation at a place that is designed to help homeless people with mental health issues. It can be touchy work because there is an element of confidentiality that must be closely respected. Nevertheless, I do maintain that in many ways we are as sick as our secrets.

People need to admit there is a problem is they are ever going to solve it. Refusal to admit a problem is tantamount to another form of denial. There are many forms of denial and at times denial may not be known to us on a conscious level. We must remain aware, conscious and open to ways that we can improve our inner character as humane beings.

Friday, Septiembre 23, 2011
@1:30 PM ~ @Central Library. I went to the DRA Meeting at Guest House, met a few brothers who are into recovery and even my roommate Brother Mikey showed up a little late because he has an appointment at Genesis. Afterwards I went by Loaves & Fishes where they were all celebrating its 20th Year of serving the people. I met a lot of my friends and there were good vibrations in the air.

While I was at Guest House I finally got my medication of Seroquel 50mg 30 EACH. This has been bit of a struggle. I must learn to be more patient with people who are assigned to help me and remember that I am not the center of their universe ~though I may be the center of my own cosmos.

Sabbath, September 24, 2011
@3:00 PM ~ Am going to be seriously considering moving into the Shasta Hotel. I do appreciate the help that Carol's Place has given me, BUTTTT I do what to have the privacy of my own room and can make room for someone else who needs to stay there.

As usual, today has been a pretty good day for me here at the Sacramento Central Library. I do feel kind of frustrated for different reasons. I need to vary and diversity more in my life. Plan certain typing schedules, do my typing like a regular job situation. However, I do feel that I am reaching more and more people via Twitter + Facebook. We need to develop a larger playing field.

Tuesday, Septiembre 27, 2011
@2:01 PM ~ Did not get online Sunday or Monday. Sunday we had a great CASA Meeting. Brother Alex gave a good testimony. I hope we have another good one this next Sunday. My Amigo Gallo came down from Rooster Ranch and it was good to see him and his two children, though they are becoming fine young adults and are not really children anymore. Sister Linda M. was also at the CASA Meeting and she was looking well and voluptuous. Plus, other were there in attendance. I want to have an even better one this Sunday. CASA has always been a kind of anchor for me in my life. Monday I stood around Carol's Place.

This morning when I got up and about I found out that my Schwinn bike had gotten stolen. It was locked up with a good chain in the backyard. I do not to even go into it now. I refuse to let is upset me, just another motivation for me to move out. Plus, a reminder for me not to cling to worldly possessions.

Earlier I submitted an application for the Shasta Hotel, along with a $15 Dollar money order for a Credit Check that is not refundable. I saw the little room I had seen before again. I want to get a room with a view there or I will not move in, period. All I want is a room with a view so I can work on my book and stuff. Keep it simple.

Below is a picture of the front door area at the Shasta Hotel

I will check it out. If I do not get a response by Friday then I may have to start paying actual rent at Carol's Place of $540, which will be a bummer. Plus, I want to get a RT Sticker for October for riding the bus and light rail.

After checking out Shasta I went by the Christian Science Reading Room and saw Sister Kristian and a board member. It was pleasant, though I am not a Christian Scientist as such. I can be open to learning from any relevant source.

I continue to keep my faith in the Creator, strive to be in communion with the Cosmos and know that I will be fine wherever I go. Today I find people real irritable, especially because so many do not really give a damn about others, have no radical revolutionary consciousness and many are riddled with an assortment of character defects. Of course, I continue to work on my own spiritual growth, try not to do a constant inventory of others, but I feel I am around a lot of selfish beings who suffer from one kind of mental-spiritual disorder or another ~ yet remain in denial.

Yesterday at Carol's Place I was allowed to do a new kind of group and held a meeting that I called a Spiritual Health Meeting. A few of the residents were there in attendance. I presented the Four Agreements and elaborated on a printout I distributed.

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So today is a Tuesday and the Central Library here is opened until 8 PM. I figure I will be here until about 6 PM.

Wednesday, Septiembre 28, 2011
@1:02 PM ~ I am now at  Sacra Central Library on the 4th Floor, my usual area when I am here. I figure I will be in the downtown area in the future if I move into Shasta Hotel, thus I see no need in getting a Comcast Connect at my possible new home. Plus, it is good for my mental health to be out in public at least here to avoid any harmful isolation, though I love my times of solitude when I can just be to myself without being bothered by others with their inane insanity and irrelevancy, esp. if they are not working any kind of a self-improvement program in their personal lives.

This morning I went by Loaves & Fishes, saw friends and acquaintances there, popped in at the AA Meeting for a minute, then went to my Nutcracker Appointment with Nick at Genesis.

At my Genesis Therapy Session with Nick I told him about my time in 1976 and the rationale as to why I attempted suicide as seen from the outside. I told him I was using logic about the idea of aliens from another planet or dimension being able to help us poor folks here on earth and that idea that we are already being monitored by them. I figured that I would go into another dimension or portal where I would meet them. It gets complicated.

Anyway I consider the shaman experience I went through there just that, not an actual suicide attempt because I believed that I would not die. Plus, I did not really try to kill myself as much as I just did not want to live in that version of myself. I had taken all my meds (Haldol and Congentin) after a six-pack of beer, ended up sleeping on my right arm and crushed the nerves and muscles in it.
After I was found ODed I was taken to the UCD Medical Center and was in a coma for three days.

Before that time I was working out with martial arts for up four hours a day, keep at it in one form or another and was in the physical shape I have ever been in.

At the time, the doctor told my Mom that only a miracle could save me. A priest said Last Rites over me. They had my lungs coated with charcoal. When I awoke there was a beautiful Latina woman who was pounding on my back for one medical reason or another.

Afterwards, I became physically handicapped with a limp right arm. I eventually started working out again after I was able to do one push up and pretty well recovered usage of my right arm and hand. I was plunged into the solitary realm of being physically handicapped, but afterwards realized that we are a lot capable with more potential for self improvement than we give ourselves credit for. I was handicapped as such for almost two years.  Nick remarked that maybe the old Peter did die and I thought that was profound. I am truly lucky to be alive and am a blessed man.

So it was a good Therapy Session with Nick. He will be leaving to go to school down to southern California by Escondido in about a month of less. Next Wednesday Loaves & Fishes people are going on a retreat so I will not see him again until a couple of week.

Afterwards my Nutcracker Suite, I came downtown on the Mall, bought a Diet Pepsi and came across my beloved Brother Tata AKA Bobby. We checked out the Farmer's Market at Cesar Chavez Plaza they have every Wednesday around Summertime, though we are now into the Fall. Tomorrow is a Safeground Meeting at Kathleen's place AKA Cat.

@5:23 PM ~ I am still here at Sacra Central Library. I believe it closes at 6 PM. I guess I better get going. I plan to come back here after our morning Safeground Meeting over Cat's house tomorrow.

Thursday, Septiembre 29, 2011
We had a good Safeground Meeting at Cat's house. I am glad there is still a core group of folks who are still attending our meetings there. There is a lot of potential for creating a true hard core revolutionary consciousness among the homeless, our local refugees, if we are not afraid to go further in our active imagination.

Twitter @SafeGroundSac

As always, my main agenda is a humane rights agenda. We need to help people see the interconnectiveness of all humane rights issues and causes.

Friday, September 30th of 2011
@3:13 PM ~ Today is the Last Day of this Month of September. This morning at Carol's Place I talked to Carolyn and Maddie about my case and housing situation. They are both aware of my desire to move into the Shasta Hotel. Went to RT Station by 12th and R Streets and actually got my new RT Disabled Person Card with picture, plus my Sticker for October. Life goes on and I keep struggling through each day one day at a time.



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